Quotes About Wisdom

God don't make no mistakes. That's how He got to be God.

I believe that the Good Lord gave us a finite number of heartbeats and I'm damned if I'm going to use up mine running up and down a street.

Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children. Now, I have six children and no theories.

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and it annoys the pig.

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.

Gray is a crown of splendor: it is attained by a righteous life.

As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.

If only you would be altogether silent! For you, that would be wisdom.

Don't talk about a rope in the house of someone whose father was hung.

A hair on the head is worth two on the brush.

My act is very educational. I heard a man leaving the other night saying, 'Well that taught me a lesson'.

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.

We all learn by experience but some of us have to go to summer school.

Education is a progressive discovery of your own ignorance.

There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.

A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.

Study without thought is vain: thought without study is dangerous.

Those who do not study are only cattle dressed up in mens clothes.

It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

That's okay, honey. I used to believe in things too.

The older theory was, marry an older man because they're more mature. But the new theory is men don't mature. Marry a younger one.