Quotes About Forgiveness

Nelson Mandela wrote, "Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.

The trickiest barrier to empathy? Take a look in the mirror. Being kind and extending the hypothesis of generosity to ourselves when we mess up is the first step. Resisting the urge to punish or shame ourselves when we make mistakes is true mastery.

To know shame is to be human. And to have the capacity for empathy is also to be human.

A lifetime of unexplored disappointments can make us bitter, and stored-up resentment is toxic.

Choose discomfort over resentment.

We pay for hate with our lives, and that's too big a price to pay. THERE ARE ALWAYS BOUNDARIES. EVEN IN THE WILDERNESS

Here's what I learned: The heart of compassion is really acceptance. The better we are at accepting ourselves and others, the more compassionate we become. Well, it's difficult to accept people when they are hurting us or taking advantage of us or walking all over us. This research has taught me that if we really want to practice compassion, we have to start by setting boundaries and holding people accountable for their behavior. We

I don't know. I really don't. All I know is that my life is better when I assume that people are doing their best. It keeps me out of judgment and lets me focus on what is, and not what should or could be." His answer felt like truth to me. Not an easy truth, but truth.

Self-kindness: Being warm and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or flagellating ourselves with self-criticism.

Too much shame and blame, not enough accountability and learning.

I also learned that when you hold someone accountable for hurtful behaviors and they feel

Because loving them and accepting their imperfections is much easier than turning that light of loving-kindness on myself.

The delta between I am a screwup and I screwed up may look small, but in fact it's huge.

them—we can only love others as much as we love ourselves. Shame, blame,

Courage is acknowledging hurt without running from it and my courage is acknowledging hurt and hurting back

Disappointment takes a toll on us and our relationships. It requires considerable emotional bandwidth. Researcher Eliane Sommerfeld explains that we come away from the experience of disappointment feeling bad about ourselves and the other person. Our negativity is tinged with astonishment and surprise, and, at the same time we're trying to forgive, we're concealing emotions. We're trying to think positively and urging ourselves to move on. It's exhausting.

can only love others as much as we love ourselves.

I don't think you can ever know for certain. But I do know that my life is better when I work from the assumption that everyone is doing the best they can.

Stop Beating Yourself Up

The heart of compassion is really acceptance. The better we are at accepting ourselves and others, the more compassionate we become.

Laura's courage is acknowledging hurt without running from it, and my courage is acknowledging hurt and not hurting back. We also agreed that cruelty is never brave

Laura's courage is acknowledging hurt without running from it, and my courage is acknowledging hurt and not hurting back. We also agreed that cruelty is never brave—it's mostly cheap and easy, especially in today's culture.

The trick to staying out of resentment is maintaining better boundaries—blaming others less and holding myself more accountable for asking for what I need and want.

When we are relieved or happy to see someone held accountable for wrongdoing, we're not automatically celebrating their suffering, but more often we're grateful for the healing that accountability brings to those who have been affected by the wrongdoing.