Quotes About Connection

NOT EVERYTHING IS FORGIVABLE Accepting an apology doesn't always mean reconciliation. The best apology in the world can't restore every connection. The words "I'm sorry" may be absurdly inadequate even if sincerely offered. Sometimes the foundation of trust on which a relationship was built cannot be repaired. We may never want to see the person who hurt us again. We can still accept the apology.

Why must they share their uncensored reactions?" She was referring to the corrosive criticism that wears couples down as they selectively attend to what bothers them in a partner rather than speaking to what they appreciate and admire. And she was referring to the raw, unbridled emotional exchanges that, when unchecked, erode intimacy and connection in family relationships.

We commonly confuse closeness with sameness and view intimacy as the merging of two separate "I's" into one worldview.

Moving in this direction requires us to clarify—to ourselves and others—what's important to us. Having an authentic voice means that: We can openly share competence as well as problems and vulnerability. We can warm things up and calm them down. We can listen and ask questions that allow us to truly know the other person and to gather information about anything that may affect us. We can say what we think and feel, state differences, and allow the

I feel calmed and relieved when my husband knocks at my study door in the middle of a fight, puts his arms around me, and says, "I love you. This is stupid. Let's just drop it." Like two kids in the sandbox, we're suddenly light and playful again.

experience of our self and the other person becomes fixed and small. My goal is to challenge us to engage in novel conversations that will create a larger, more empowering view of who we are and what is truly possible.

Separateness" does not mean emotional distance, which is simply one means of managing anxiety or emotional intensity. Rather, separateness refers to the preservation of the "I" within the "we" - the ability to acknowledge and respect differences and to achieve authenticity within the context of connectedness.

Surely human consciousness would take a big leap forward if our wish to hear and understand were as great as our wish to be heard and understood.

Real closeness occurs most reliably not when it is pursued or demanded in a relationship, but when both individuals work consistently on their own selves. <...> Working on the self includes clarifying beliefs, values, and life goals, staying responsibly connected to persons on one's own family tree, defining the "I" in key relationships, and addressing important emotional issues as they arise.

The healing power of a good apology is also immediately recognizable. When someone offers me a genuine apology, I feel relieved and soothed. Whatever anger and resentment I may still be harboring melts away. I also feel better when I offer an apology I know is due. I'm enormously grateful that I can repair the disconnection after having made a mistake or acted badly.

Venting anger may serve to maintain, and even rigidify, the old rules and patterns in a relationship, thus ensuring that change does not occur.

Change is an anxiety-arousing business, both for the one doing the changing and for those affected by the change. Often we fear that another person's move toward new ideas and experiences will create a gulf so wide that we will not be able to reach them.

we reduce anxiety in one relationship by focusing on a third party, who we unconsciously pull into the situation to lower the emotional intensity in the original pair. For

working on key emotional issues at their source, lays the groundwork for more solid intimate relationships in the present or future.

Parent Effectiveness Training.

When we speak from the heart, we long for an ear to hear us, and we all have experienced that down feeling when we perceive ourselves as written off or misunderstood.

The more we carve out a clear and separate "I," the more we can experience and enjoy both intimacy and aloneness.

Intimacy can happen only after we work toward a more solid self, based on a clear understanding of our part in the relationship patterns that keep us stuck.

I resonate with the words of Anaïs Nin, "Each friend represents a world in us.

We can operate from a solid position of self, even when the other person won't speak to us at all.

tr?irile emoÈ›ionale intense, indiferent cât ar fi de p?trunz?toare, nu È›in locul unei apropieri reale, care rezist? în timp. Intensitatea si intimitatea nu sunt acelaÈ™i lucru, chiar dac? mulÈ›i oameni le confund?.

Any one must see at a glance that if men and women marry those whom they do not love, they must love those whom they do not marry.

When you are starting to fall in love with someone you want to know everything there is to know about them; you want to understand their world and be accepted into it. It is the same for an actor with a new role.

Usually we hate things or people with which we have some emotional involvement.