Quotes About Connection

MBR: I'm not able to get as much out of your appreciation as I would like.

Intellectual understanding of a problem blocks the kind of presence that empathy requires. When we are thinking about people's words and listening to how they connect to our theories, we are looking at people - we are not with them.

But, if you want to feel better, I'd like you to clarify what you would like people to do to make life more wonderful for you.

It was these two things you said.

MBR: Ah, so it's my saying those two things that you appreciate.

Participant: Hopeful and relieved.

Empathy is a respectful understanding of what others are experiencing. We often have a strong urge to give advice or reassurance and to explain our own position or feeling. Empathy, however, calls upon us to empty our mind and listen to others with our whole being.

Mucho antes de llegar a la adultez aprendí a comunicarme de una forma impersonal que no requería revelar lo que estaba sucediendo dentro de mí.

MBR: And now I'd like to know what needs of yours were fulfilled by my saying those two things.

Participant: I have this eighteen-year-old son whom I haven't been able to communicate with.

Hearing all three pieces of information—what I did, how she felt, and what needs of hers were fulfilled—I could then celebrate the appreciation with her. Had she initially expressed her appreciation in NVC, it might have sounded like this: "Marshall, when you said these two things (showing me her notes), I felt very hopeful and relieved, because I've been searching for a way to make a connection with my son, and these gave me the direction I was looking for.

Hearing all three pieces of information—what I did, how she felt, and what needs of hers were fulfilled—I could then celebrate the appreciation with her.

Love is not denying ourselves and doing for others, but rather it is honestly expressing whatever our feelings and needs are and empathically receiving the other person's feelings and needs.

Iam not easily frightened. Not because I am brave but because I know that I am dealing with human beings, and that I must try as hard as I can to understand everything that anyone ever does.

I had a major conflict with what went on in his head, but I've learned that I enjoy human beings more if I don't hear what they think.

If we become skilled at giving ourselves empathy, we often experience in just a few seconds a natural release of energy that then enables us to be present with the other person.

Instead of habitual, automatic reactions, our words become conscious responses based firmly on awareness of what we are perceiving, feeling, and wanting.

Quanto mais as pessoas que fazem parte de nossa vida tiverem sido acusadas, punidas ou forçadas a sentirem-se culpadas por não fazerem o que os outros pediram, mais provavelmente elas levarão essa bagagem a todo relacionamento posterior e ouvirão em cada solicitação uma exigência.

The Sufi poet RUmi once wrote, "Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right-doing, there is a field. I'll meet you there.

In the world of judgments, our concern centers on "who is what.

We know a speaker has received adequate empathy when (1) we sense a release of tension, or (2) the flow of words comes to a halt.

Likewise, if we find ourselves unable or unwilling to empathize despite our efforts, it is usually a sign that we are too starved for empathy to be able to offer it to others. Sometimes, if we openly acknowledge that our own distress is preventing us from responding empathically, the other person may come through with the empathy we need.

I scream nonviolently by calling attention to my own desperate needs and pain in the moment.

contending parties approach each other with respect. They ask about each other's needs, and in an atmosphere free of passions and prejudices, they reach a connection.