Quotes About Connection

In a true you-and-I relationship, we are present mindfully, nonintrusively, the way we are present with things in nature.We do not tell a birch tree it should be more like an elm. We face it with no agenda, only an appreciation that becomes participation: 'I love looking at this birch' becomes 'I am this birch' and then 'I and this birch are opening to a mystery that transcends and holds us both.

Our tears are precious, necessary, and part of what make us such endearing creatures.

When we feel unsafe with someone and still stay with him, we damage our ability to discern trustworthiness in those we will meet in the future.

The more invested I am in my own ideas about reality, the more those experiences will feel like victimizations rather than the ups and downs of relating. Actually, I believe that the less I conceptualize things that way, the more likely it is that people will want to stay by me, because they will not feel burdened, consciously or unconsciously, by my projections, judgments, entitlements, or unrealistic expectations.

We were born with four words engraved on our bodies and in our hearts: Love me, hold me.

We can actually reconstruct our past by examining what we think, say, feel, expect, believe, and do in an intimate relationship now.

Real love does not come off the rack; it is uniquely tailored by the lover to the beloved. Part of the pain of letting go of someone who really loved you is letting go of being loved in that special way.

Most people think of love as a feeling but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present.

Thus, we strive for intimacy with the whole universe, not just with one person.

We feel loved when we receive attention, acceptance, appreciation, and affection, and when we are allowed the freedom to live in accord with our own deepest needs and wishes. These

Once we love ourselves, people no longer look good to us unless they are good for us.

We hear with our ears; we listen with our intution and our heart.

Most people in relationships seldom know what they really want, ask for what they really want, or show what they really feel. Most people avoid or fear intimacy, consistent

Love is experienced differently by each of us, but for most of us five aspects of love stand out. We feel loved when we receive attention, acceptance, appreciation, and affection, and when we are allowed the freedom to live in accord with our own deepest needs and wishes.

We cannot attune if we assume certain feelings are right and others wrong. To attune to someone, we need neutrality toward all feelings, moods, and inner states and the fearless openness of mindfulness.

Wise adults begin relationships not with the romance phase but with an investigation phase. We check out the other, looking to see if he or she is trustworthy, has the ability to give the five A's, and possesses the qualities that are important to us. Only when we are secure in the knowledge that the other is trustworthy do we open ourselves to letting love happen.

Where there is no love put love and you will find love.

To love is to become loving.

Ralph Waldo Emerson spoke of this encouraging possibility in his address at Harvard Divinity School in 1838: "We mark with light in the memory the few interviews we have had with souls that made our souls wiser, that spoke what we thought, that told us what we knew, that gave us leave to be what we inly are.

We passed upon the stair, we spoke of was and when Although I wasn't there, he said I was his friend Which came as some surprise I spoke into his eyes I thought you died alone, a long long time ago.

And if you say run, I'll run with you And if you say hide, we'll hide. Because my love for you Would break my heart in two. If you should fall Into my arms And tremble like a flower.

When you get the nerve to talk to the attractive person across the room, your brain was being bold three-tenths of a second before you.

Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness, and Fairness.

I am convinced that material things can contribute a lot to making one's life pleasant, but, basically, if you do not have very good friends and relatives who matter to you, life will be really empty and sad and material things cease to be important.