Quotes About Stephen Colbert

When my dad visited me while I was doing a play in New York City two years ago, I took him to see 'Late Show With Stephen Colbert.' Now I'm going to his house. It's surreal.

NC passed law against global warming science, therefore it's not happening. So I'm ignoring Twitter's 140-character limit, so it's not happ

Forgot to live-tweet the election last night, so I'm post-tweeting today. I'll start as soon as my fingers unclench from their rage fists.

If God wanted us to get high, he'd have created plants that became psychoactive when eaten or smoked.

With Late Night Show I can begin the search for the real Stephen Colbert.I just hope I don't find him on Ashley Madison.

I'm a simple man with a simple mind. I hold a simple set of beliefs that I live by. Number one, I believe in America. I believe it exists. My gut tells me I live there. I feel that it extends from the Atlantic to the Pacific, and I strongly believe it has 50 states.

Divorce is marital welfare.It's just couples asking society to bail them out because they didn't do enough research before they got married.

The truthiness is, anyone can read the news to you. I promise to feel the news 'at' you.

I love Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart because they're bringing irony back into American humor, which is a delicious treat. The entire Colbert persona of being extreme right-wing when he's not at all is highly amusing. He does it so well, but sometimes a little too well. My wife is convinced he's completely that way.

'Sympathy for the Devil' is just another way of saying 'Compassionate Conservative'.

I just love Stephen Colbert. He's a genius.

Reality has a well-known liberal bias.

I think he's a great talent, Stephen Colbert.

Senator John Kyle claiming that over 90 percent of what Planned Parenthood does is abortion. Stephen Colbert: Over 90 percent, that is unbelievable...in that it is not true. Only 3 percent of what Planned Parenthood does is abortion. Kyle just rounded it up to the nearest 90.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The Truth. No joke.

Yes, helping the poor helps keep them stuck in poverty. As Jesus said, 'Tough love thy neighbor as thyself, get your own loaves and fishes.'-- Stephen Colbert

Ghost of Bobby: no, no you can't eat me. I'm a ghost. Stephen Colbert: That just means that there's less bones to pick out.

The Yankees' Facebook page was hacked. The hacker was immediately purchased and signed to a 5 year contract with the Yankees.

Forgot to live-tweet the election last night, so I'm post-tweeting today. I'll start as soon as my fingers unclench from their rage fists.

All weather is sin-related. Lust causes thunder, anger causes fog, and you don't want to know what causes dew.

If God wanted us to get high, he'd have created plants that became psychoactive when eaten or smoked.

Physics. Some say this science is fundamental; I say it's a bunch of unnecessary regulations. Physics is the ultimate Big Government interference—universal laws meant to constrain us at every turn.

I love the earth. If you ask me it's the greatest planet in the world.

Stephen Colbert has such a loyal following; I don't know if it's the same with Jay Leno; he really inspires love in people, and there can be a lucky ricochet of that for some people.