Quotes About Conflict

Everyone who is your enemy must also be an evil person?

Was there no hope for men? They killed those they should have loved. What good was it to fight, what good was it to win, if there was no difference between ally and enemy? What was victory? Meaningless.

There was nothing quite so frustrating as soft words being wielded like clubs.

Kaladin no había sabido, al criarse en el remoto Piedralar, lo afortunado que era su pueblo al haber evitado la batalla. El mundo entero guerreaba

Fighting was not about glory, but about men lying on the ground screaming and thrashing, tangled in their own viscera

there's a fine line between love and hate

People often silence themselves, or "agree to disagree" without fully exploring the actual nature of the disagreement, for the sake of protecting a relationship and maintaining connection. But when we avoid certain conversations, and never fully learn how the other person feels about all of the issues, we sometimes end up making assumptions that not only perpetuate but deepen misunderstandings, and that can generate resentment.

The "Okay, I get it and I'll work on it" is a common shut-down technique. I took a deep breath and leaned into the mother of all rumble tools—curiosity. "Tell me more about how this plays out for y'all. I want to understand.

What starts as a small disagreement about an unimportant issue becomes a fight over wrongly assigned intentions and hurt feelings.

But this work has forced me to see that it's our fear of the unknown and our fear of being wrong that create most of our conflict and anxiety. We need both faith and reason to make meaning in an uncertain world. "The opposite of faith is not doubt, but uncertainty." —Anne Lamott The Serenity prayer: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

You'll also wonder how you can feel so brave and so afraid at the same time.

it's our fear of the unknown and our fear of being wrong that create most of our conflict and anxiety.

It seems counterintuitive, but telling someone how we feel takes more courage and is often more powerful than verbally attacking them

It is easy to see how quickly expectations become layered, competitive and conflicting. This is how the shame web works. We have very few realistic options that allow us to meet any of these expectations. Most of the options that we do have feel like a "double bind." When Marilyn Frye describes a double bind as "a situation in which options are very limited and all of them expose us to penalty, censure or deprivation.

it's our fear of the unknown and our fear of being wrong that create most of our conflict and anxiety. We need both faith and reason to make meaning in an uncertain world.

In Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, Darth Vader says to Obi-Wan Kenobi, "If you're not with me, then you're my enemy.

But if their behaviors are not okay, we set the boundaries: I know this is a tough conversation. Being angry is okay. Yelling is not okay. I know we're tired and stressed. This has been a long meeting. Being frustrated is okay. Interrupting people and rolling your eyes is not okay. I appreciate the passion around these different opinions and ideas. The emotion is okay. Passive-aggressive comments and put-downs are not okay.

According to the Gottman Institute, flooding is "a sensation of feeling psychologically and physically overwhelmed during conflict, making it virtually impossible to have a productive, problem-solving discussion.

No one ever said, "This is no longer productive and we should take a time-out before someone gets their feelings hurt." Our strategy was get louder and meaner until you win or someone else is crying.

Also, don't forget one of our favorite rumble tools: the time-out. When rumbles become unproductive, call a time-out. Give everyone ten minutes to walk around outside or catch their breath. In

Cognitive dissonance is a state of tension that occurs when a person holds two cognitions (ideas, attitudes, beliefs, opinions) that are psychologically inconsistent with each other, such as "Smoking is a dumb thing to do because

Gottman's work on marriages, he was able to predict an outcome of divorce with 90 percent accuracy based on responses to a series of questions. His team screened for what he called the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse—criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt, with contempt being the most damning in a romantic partnership.

I've spent many an hour with an inner argument about armed conflict, trying to distinguish the act of killing from the act of murder – the one apparently being worthy of honour and praise and the other of punishment and disgrace.

Wellington, Jack had never cared about pleasing anyone but himself. Lord Geoffrey, his spendthrift, gamester father and Lord Foxhaven's second son, had died when Jack was but eight. Two years later, his mother married Sir Findlay Branch, a wealthy, stuffy baronet whose apparent mission in life was to eradicate Lord Geoffrey's