Quotes About Bill Maher

The true axis of evil in America is the brilliance of our marketing combined with the stupidity of our people.

You know, I'm a comedian the same as Bill Maher and Jon Stewart. We all came up the same way. The three of us have interest in politics; I call us fundits, we're fundits! We're not pundits!

Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.

Rick Santorum said this week that his 12-year-old could out-reason me about God. Look, I am not about to debate a home-schooled 12-year-old. I have enough trouble with Sarah Palin.

I don't ever want to become Bill Maher where I have to find some strong opinion on something just because it's in the news. That's the guy that comes off like you have to be angry every week about new topics and snotty about something. That's what I'm trying to avoid.

By calling GMOs 'poison' and 'evil,' Bill Maher poisons the well of reasoned scientific discussion with ideologically driven fear mongering.

I think religion is a neurological disorder.

I hate religion. I think it's a neurological disorder.

Politically Incorrect was the name of the show Bill Maher hosted in the 1990s. It's also an apt description of the man himself. Now host of -- HBO's hit show Real Time, I find Maher to be one of the sharpest observers of American politics and life in general out there. It doesn't mean I always agree with him. I always find him funny, though.

This is why idiots like Bill Maher can make jokes like this (about the 2010 Republican sweep of Congress)—"I haven't seen Republicans so happy about taking seats since they made Rosa Parks stand up."25 When Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat, the mayor of Montgomery enforcing segregation on the buses was—of course—a segregationist Democrat, William A. "Tacky" Gayle.26

Every time [Rand Paul] opens his mouth, it gets a little crazier. Today he angrily demanded that the liberal media stop quoting him in context.

Last week, I suggested the candidates take up mushrooms. I'll be damned if Rick Perry didn't take me up on that.

Abstinence is a perversion.

Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.

New Rule: Someone must x-ray my stomach to see if the Peeps I ate on Easter are still in there, intact and completely undigested. And I'm not talking about this past Easter. I'm talking about the last time I celebrated Easter, in 1962.

The true axis of evil in America is the brilliance of our marketing combined with the stupidity of our people.

Saying someone is religious is heard in most of America as a compliment, a reassuring affirmation that someone will be moral, ethical, and after a few glasses of wine, a freak in the bedroom.

Now, I'm no doctor, but I am on TV. And in my professional opinion, George Bush is a paranoid schizophrenic.

I do admit there are things in the universe I don't understand. But my response to that is not to make up silly stories...or to believe intellectually embarrassing myths from the Bronze Age, but you believe whatever you want.

Women are also property in our bible; adultery is a property crime in the Old Testament, not a sex crime.

If I can't suck your milkshake through a straw, it's not a milkshake--it's a glass of ice cream.

Kadafi is a zombie in a pillbox hat, that's what he is!

New Rule: America has every right ot bitch about gas prices suddenly shooting up. How could we have known? Oh, wait, there was that teensy, tiny thing about being warned constantly over the last forty years but still creating more urban sprawl, failing to build public transport, buying gas-guzzlers, and voting for oil company shills. So, New Rule: Shut the fuck up about gas prices.

New Rule: Any tattoo that has more than one line is too long.