Quotes About Absurdity

Professor Branestawm

self-defeating statement is one that fails to meet its own standard.

But it goes without saying that Michael Jordan could never date Pamela Anderson. That would cause the apocalypse.

Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet.

These days, most of the people you hear laughing are dead.

Shotgunning anybody in this room would be the moral equivalent of killing a car, a Barbie doll, a vacuum cleaner. We're all such products.

A guy's calling to say he's failing algebra II. Just as a point of practice, I say, Kill yourself. A woman calls and says her kids won't behave. Without missing a beat, I tell her, Kill yourself. A man calls to say his car won't start. Kill yourself. A woman calls to ask what time the late movie starts. Kill yourself. She asks, Isn't this 555-1327? Is this the Moorehouse CinePlex? I say, Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself.

How can I not laugh? I'm already dead.

Every stupid thing in the world, decaffeinated coffee, alcohol free beer, makes perfect sense, not because you're any smarter, but because the smart part of your brain's on vacation.

Right now, me get­ting killed would be redun­dant.

It could be worse. A woman could cut off your penis while you're sleeping and toss it out the window of a moving car.

sedÄ›l jsem tu v marné touze, chtÄ›l jsem srát, vÅ¡ak prdÄ›l pouze

Nothing is too absurd for some philosopher to have said it.

There is nothing so absurd that it has not been said by some philosopher.

Forks are absurd, he scoffed. They insult your food. They make it think you're killing it twice.

George, you must realize that the world is a joke. There is no justice, everything is random. Only when you realize this will you understand how silly it is to take yourself seriously. There is no grand purpose in the universe. It just is. There's no particular meaning in what decision you make today about how to act.

Our thoughts, feelings, desires and actions are being robotized; 'life' is coming to mean feeding apparatuses and being fed by them. In short: Everything is becoming absurd. So where is there room for human freedom?

Nossos pensamentos, sentimentos, desejos e ações estão sendo robotizados; 'vida' passa a significar aparelhos de alimentação e ser alimentados por eles. Em resumo: tudo está se tornando absurdo. Então, onde há espaço para a liberdade humana?

It might be possible that the world itself is without meaning.

I need someone whose mind falls like a chopper on a block; to whom the pitch of absurdity is sublime, and a shoestring adorable. To whom can I expose the urgency of my own passion?

If this is love, there is something highly ridiculous about it.

Waiting for Godot] has achieved a theoretical impossibility—a play in which nothing happens, that yet keeps audiences glued to their seats. What's more, since the second act is a subtly different reprise of the first, he has written a play in which nothing happens, twice.

The square root of I is I.

The evolution of sense is, in a sense, the evolution of nonsense.