Quotes About Flatulence

Inspiration: A peculiar effect of divine flatulence emitted by the Holy Spirit which hisses into the ears of a few chosen of God.

My father would pass gas and then blame it on imaginary animals.

Both Old and New World beans — and, to be fair, bran, onions, cucumbers, raisins, cauliflower, lettuce, coffee, and dark beer — have a reputation for eliciting a condition known delicately in the sixteenth century as "windinesse." Flatulence, for much of human history, has been a pressing social concern:

With a bassy thump and a smell like burnt sulfur, Shitload farted himself far into the air.

One night the cook served us beans and more beans for dinner. Instead of sleeping, we farted all night long, which caused

There is one good thing about not eating," I said. "What would that be?" Greenlaw asked. "We've got nothing to fart with.

considered earthquakes and decided they were the result of air trapped inside the earth that had sought a way out, a form of geological flatulence:

My pants cut the cheese. Let one fly. Baked a batch of brownies.

Spending so much time on the road, I get to fart all the time. Then when it's, like, Thanksgiving dinner and I'm sitting with my grandmother, I can't fart for, like, two hours.

This Nicholas anon leet fle a fart As greet as it had been a thonder-dent, That with the strook he was almoost yblent; And he was redy with his iren hoot, And Nicholas amydde the ers he smoot. Of gooth the skyn an hande-brede aboute, The hoote kultour brende so his toute, And for the smert he wende for to dye.

beauty salon and $19 million to examine gas emissions from cow flatulence, but rejected a healthcare reform bill that would offer affordable

Q: What sort of farts do you get by mixing beans and onions? A: Tear gas.

Beans, beans, the musical fruit, The more you eat, the more you toot.

The simplest strategy for bouts of noxious flatus is to not care. Or perhaps to take advantage of a gastroenterologist I know: get a dog. (To blame.)

Today, I made a log of farts.

Eat more beans to produce more gas.

Life blew in gusts from the hole in the side of the elephant with a rank smell and a comic flatulence.

To make matters worse, somebody in our group was making the most dreadful silent farts. Fortunately, it was me, so I wasn't nearly as bothered as the others.

Cigars are all the rage, dad. You should smoke cigars! - Calvin Flatulence could be all the rage, but it would still be disgusting. - Calvin's mom

the question hung there like an invisible wall of flatulence

you cannot spontaneously levitate and hover above the ground, whether or not you are seated in the lotus position. Although, in principle, you could perform this stunt if you managed to let loose a powerful and sustained exhaust of flatulence.

You could, in principle, perform this stunt if you managed to let forth a powerful and sustained exhaust of flatulence.

Foul and magical fumes bubbled out of the kettle, like the flatulence of a dragon on a demon-only diet.

environmental effects of the flatulence of cattle, don't be. It's a myth. What'll kill us all is the flatulence of politicians.