Quotes About Relationship

couldn't think when I'd last run into a man quite so inventive. My reaction to him was gut-level chemistry—like crystals of sodium flung in a swimming pool, throwing off sparks, dancing across the water like light. I had a friend once who said to me, "Wherever there is sex, we work to create a relationship that's worthy of it." I thought about that now, sensing that soon I would do that with him—start to bond, start to fantasize, start

Learning to love and be loved is, in effect, about learning to tune in to our emotions so that we know what we need from a partner and expressing those desires openly, in a way that evokes sympathy and support from him or her.

The demand-withdraw pattern is not just a bad habit, it reflects a deeper underlying reality: such couples are starving emotionally. They are losing the source of their emotional sustenance. They feel deprived. And they are desperate to regain that nurturance.

the quality of positive support—reassurance that a partner is loved and esteemed and is capable of taking control of his or her life—is the most crucial factor in the health of any relationship.

Ultimately, these remedies are ineffectual because they don't address the source of relationship distress: the fear that emotional connection—the font of all comfort and respite—is vanishing.

what happens when trauma survivors stay emotionally shut down? Trauma's echoes cannot dissipate. The continuing reverberations gradually erode connection and trust with loved ones. Partners need to recognize that avoiding emotion sets their relationship up for descent

Simply holding the hand of a loving partner can affect us profoundly, literally calming jittery neurons in the brain.

For better or worse, in the twenty-first century, a love relationship has become the central emotional relationship in most people's lives. One reason is that we are increasingly living in social isolation.

From your viewpoint, is your partner accessible to you? I can get my partner's attention easily. T F My partner is easy to connect with emotionally. T F My partner shows me that I come first with him/her. T F I am not feeling lonely or shut out in this relationship. T F I can share my deepest feelings with my partner. He/she will listen. T F

Yet another study found that women who had had a heart attack stood a threefold higher risk of having another if there was discord in their marriage.

Generally in love, sharing even negative emotions, provided they don't get out of hand, is more useful than emotional absence. Lack of response just fires up the primal panic of the other partner. As James tells Vincent, "I get so I just want to strike out at you to prove that you can't just turn me off.

Standing up in front of all your close family and friends and putting a ring on each other's finger is a statement of your intention to be this person's love and home.

when you feel pain from your raw spot, are there ghosts standing behind your lover?

When a relationship is in free fall, men typically talk of feeling rejected, inadequate, and a failure; women of feeling abandoned and unconnected. Women do appear to have one additional response that emerges when they are distressed. Researchers call it "tend and befriend." Perhaps because they have more oxytocin, the cuddle hormone, in their blood, women reach out more to others when they feel a lack of connection.

out? I'll swing like always and you duck if you can. Both feel bad then. Do we need to do it? Or can we just start over?" Uncle Sid nodded solemnly, softly muttered, "No doozy, no ducking," and then, "Lovely pudding, Doris.

The foundation of contented, sustained relationships is the faith that your partner is there for you.

These strategies for dealing with the fear of losing connection are unconscious, and they work, at least in the beginning. But as distressed partners resort to them more and more, they set up vicious spirals of insecurity that only push them further and further apart. More and more interactions occur in which neither partner feels safe, both become defensive, and each is left assuming the very worst about each other and their relationship.

When a relationship is in free fall, men typically talk of feeling rejected, inadequate, and a failure; women of feeling abandoned and unconnected.

I feel so hopeless when I can't get through to you. I have never felt so lonely, not even when I lived alone." Sarah's message is urgent but Tim doesn't get it. He finds her "too emotional." But that is the point. We are never more emotional than when our primary love relationship is threatened. Sarah desperately needs to reconnect with Tim. Tim is desperately afraid that he has lost that intimacy with Sarah—connection is vital to him as well.

Marriage researchers have labeled this next dance Demand-Withdraw or Criticize-Defend. I call it the Protest Polka because I see it as a reaction to or, more accurately, a protest against the loss of the sense of secure attachment that we all need in a relationship

I never saw the whole picture. I just knew he wasn't close to me. I saw him as not caring. Now I see how he was ducking my bullets and trying to calm me down. I shoot when I get desperate and can't get a reaction any other way.

To help them recognize their Demon Dialogue, I suggest that they: • Stay in the present and focus on what is happening between them right now. • Look at the circle of criticism that spins both of them around. There is no true "start" to a circle. • Consider the circle, the dance, as their enemy and the consequences of not breaking the circle.

Well, first you have to see the circular pattern of responses and really understand that proving the other wrong just pushes you further and further apart. The temptation to be the "winner" and to make the other admit she is at fault is just part of the trap.

The truth is, we will never create a really strong, secure connection if we do not allow our lovers to know us fully or if our lovers are unwilling to know us.