Quotes About Driving

I came home, the car was in the dining room. "How did you get the car in here?" "Easy, I took a left at the kitchen."

When my wife drives, there's always trouble. The other day she took the car. She came home. She told me, There's water in the carburetor. I asked her, Where's the car? She said, In a lake.

Your honor, why would anyone in their right mind park in the passing lane?

The radio ad "Hi, I'm Jeff Healey from the Jeff Healey Band. Don't drink and drive. I don't". Well, I hope you don't drive sober either Mr. Healey. You're blind for God's sake!

You take care and I hope I'll run into you - when I'm driving.

I have gotten so many tickets. I hope I don't get my license revoked.

Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!

My wife had her drivers' test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear.

My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, "Where are you going?" My wife said, "I must be late, everyone is all coming back!"

My wife had a go at me last night. She said, Youll drive me to my grave. I had the car out in thirty seconds.

My wife a great driver, she once hit a deer. It was in a zoo. There is a pair of shoes on the dashboard. They belong to the last guy she hit

The average person suffers from three delusions: 1) That he is a good driver 2) That he has a good sense of humor and 3) That he is a good listener.

With humor, it's so subjective that trying to think of what the ideal reader would think would drive you crazy.

You are never to drive like that, " I told them. "Even if you are ever wealthy enough to own a Jaguar.

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on.

I've run less risk driving my way across country than eating my way across it.

I thought you drove down here in a Buick," said Absalom Greer, "but it looks like you've come drivin' a hard bargain.

When I came home for the summer after my first year of college, I told my mother that my best friend and I were driving to California. She laughed out loud - 2 000 miles in a what? Well, my best friend had an old Chevy. What could go wrong?

Whenever I drive under a yellow light, I always kiss my finger and tap it on the roof of the car.

The elderly don't drive that badly; they're just the only ones with time to do the speed limit.

As far as loneliness, I feel Los Angeles and its layout, having to drive everywhere - it is a lonely place. It's an isolated city in that respect because you're driving to places alone listening to the radio.

whether the American people knew where they were driving." He suspected they did not, "but that they might still be driving or drifting unconsciously to some point in thought, as their solar system was said to be drifting towards some point in space; and that, possibly, if relations enough could be observed, this point might be fixed. Chicago was the first expression of American thought as a unity; one must start there.

In graduate school, I learned this simple distinction: when people are driving themselves crazy, they have neuroses or psychoses. When they drive other people crazy, they have personality disorders.

The more you drive the less intelligent you are.