Quotes About Reflection

Understanding the past is perfectly admissible if your issue is accepting the past. But if your issue is changing the future, understanding will not take you there.

It's the little moments that trigger some of our most outsized and unproductive responses:

If she wants to be a great leader, she will need to "make peace" with watching what she says and observing how she acts—for the rest of her career.

When we regret our own decisions—and do nothing about it—we are no better than a whining employee complaining about his superiors. We are yelling at an empty boat, except it's our boat.

We also cling to the past as a way of contrasting it with the present—usually to highlight something positive about ourselves at the expense of someone else. Do you ever find yourself beginning a long self-serving story with the phrase, "When I was your age . . ."?

we feel regret's sharp sting when we reflect on the opportunities squandered, the choices deferred, the efforts not made

Regret is the emotion we experience when we assess our present circumstances and reconsider how we got here. We replay what we actually did against what we should have done—and find ourselves wanting in some way. Regret can hurt.

The pain that comes with regret should be mandatory, not something to be shooed away like an annoying pet. When we make bad choices and fail ourselves or hurt the people we love, we should feel pain. That pain can be motivating and in the best sense, triggering—a reminder that maybe we messed up but we can do better. It's one of the most powerful feelings guiding us to change.

Try this: For one week treat every idea that comes your way from another person with complete neutrality. Think of yourself as a human Switzerland. Don't take sides. Don't express an opinion. Don't judge the comment. If you find yourself constitutionally incapable of just saying "Thank you," make it an innocuous, "Thanks, I hadn't considered that." Or, "Thanks. You've given me something to think about.

What's more important? Your company or your life?" It was a rhetorical question. I was warning him that, stripped of his identity at the top of a sixty-thousand-employee organization, he was vulnerable to boredom, dislocation, depression. I'd seen it before in ex-CEOs who didn't prepare well for their corporate exit. It would be "irresponsible" if he didn't create a new identity for himself.

What in my life is worth keeping?" The

Once people reach the age of accountability, no matter what people do to them," he said, "that is not an excuse for any mistakes they make. On the other hand, one does seek to understand why he or she makes the mistakes they make.

The next time you hear yourself saying, "I'm just no good at . . . ," ask yourself, "Why not?

Understanding the past is perfectly admissible if your issue is accepting the past. But if your issue is changing the future, understanding will not take you there. My experience tells me that the only effective approach is looking people in the eye and saying, "If you want to change, do this.

Apology is where behavioral change begins.

Not all of us require a violent life-threatening knock on the head to change our behavior. It only seems that way.

Did I do my best to be happy? • Did I do my best to find meaning? • Did I do my best to have a healthy diet? • Did I do my best to be a good husband?

The best ideas are like great wines. They improve with age. But they can also go through a dumb period when they need time to settle and sink in.

One of the greatest mistakes of successful people is the assumption, "I behave this way, and I achieve results. Therefore, I must be achieving results because I behave this way.

Stop Asking for Feedback and Then Expressing Your Opinion

Marshall Goldsmith

Feedback—both the act of giving it and taking it—is our first step in becoming smarter, more mindful about the connection between our environment and our behavior. Feedback teaches us to see our environment as a triggering mechanism. In some cases, the feedback itself is the trigger. Consider

There is never anyone in the other boat. When we are angry, we are screaming at an empty vessel.

One recurring theme was to "reflect upon life, to find happiness and meaning now," not next month or next year.