Quotes About DeGeneres

One time I actually cleaned out my closet so good I ended up on the cover of Time magazine.

I think about Ellen DeGeneres, seeing her every single day on a show. Her identity is there every day, but what leads the way is her talent and how much you like her.

Trying to get the talk show, looking back on it, we had to beg a lot of station managers to pick up the show because people thought no one would watch it because I'm openly gay.

I'm reading Hints from Heloise, and she says that if you put an angora sweater in the freezer for an hour, it won't shed for the rest of the day. And I'm thinking, "My cat sheds an awful lot."

Haiku sounds like I'm Saying hi to someone named Ku. Hi, Ku. Hello.

The only way a no-legged leopard could hurt you is if it fell out of a tree onto your head.

Reading Ellen's hilarious new book. Thirsty for tequila.

Standup is more me talking the entire time. There's definitely an exchange of energy because that room, that audience, is giving back.

You know that song that asks, "Why do fools fall in love?"? I think the obvious answer is because they're fools.