Quotes About Hedberg

I went to a tent store. "What kind of tent do you need?" "Circus."

I got a smoke alarm at home, but really it's more like a 9-volt-battery-slowly-drainer.

I've never stayed at a bed and breakfast. If I did, I figure you would start to get hungry! "Is that all you got around here? Well, maybe you can direct me to a chair lunch dinner."

See, this CD is in stores. The only way I could get my last CD into a store was to take one in there and leave it. "Sir, you forgot this!" "No, I did not. That is for 'sale'. Please alphabetize 'it'."