Quotes About Response

When you say 'I wrote a program that crashed Windows,' people just stare at you blankly and say 'Hey, I got those with the system, for free.'

When you do comedy in front of an audience, they are the ones who tell you whether it's funny or not and which bits are funny and which bits need to be fixed.

Thank you for calling customer service. If you're calm and rational, press 1. If you're a whiner, press 2. If you're a hot head, press 3

When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.

"Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?" The doctor says, "Limp!"

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, 'Well, what do you need?'

In comedy, though, it's good to get feedback from the audience about what they find funny.

One can describe them as a boa: when it feels threatened, it runs to somewhere else.

I said to the waitress, "There's a fly swimming in my soup." She said: "You've got too much soup - he should only be able to paddle."

You exaggerate your own reactions.

Isn't it funny how the people least impacted by tragedy are the most eager to move on?

When I started writing this blog more than years ago, it was in response to traditional media's habit of twisting interviews to fit the headlines they wanted to create.

When the situation is serious, don't be funny; and when the situation is funny, don't be serious!

I was an altar boy as a kid. And the answer is no.

I went to a cigar store, the man behind the counter asked me, "What kind of cigars do you like?" I answered, "It's a Boys."

I get a lot of responses to my movies. Some people say, 'Oh, I thought it was really funny - I hope that's okay!' And my answer always is 'Yes. It's totally okay.'

It's harder when people are playing along, because it's just not as funny. They're trying to be funny, and it sort of cancels out the whole joke.

That's very funny," says Peeta. Suddenly he lashes out at the glass in Haymitch's hand. It shatters on the floor, sending the bloodred liquid running toward the back of the train. "Only not to us.

What sort of look are you going for?" Damn, how did he answer this? "Something…normal, " he finally said.

What are you doing here?"All right, he was standing in front of an easel, holding a paint palette and brush. "Taxidermy?" he responded with just a touch of his own sarcasm.

However, if you do start crying in an argument and someone asks why, you can always say, "I'm just crying because of how wrong you are.

Who are you and how did you get in here?" "I'm a locksmith. And, I'm a locksmith.

Want a little cheese with that whine, maestro?

I can see her weighing her response, concentrating like a cliff diver studying the ebb and flow of the tide."Um, well... could you at least give me an idea?""Two weeks give or take a week or two.