Quotes About Jokes

Real life is hard. I'm sorry, but shopping at Tesco is not as much fun as writing jokes for TV shows, and I struggle with it.

You know how hard it's been to write material? Because to do stand-up comedy, it takes time for the material to develop. So you'll come up with a joke, you'll tweak it, you'll work it for six months, you really fine tune it, and now you've got a good bit. Well, with Trump, every day there's something new coming out.

Tweeting is a great way to practice writing jokes, but there is so much more to comedy writing than just jokes. Jokes are a necessity, but you also have to learn how to write characters, to break a story, to keep coherence between episodes. I've learned more by being a TV writer than I ever could've on my own.

For comedians, we're all kind of tweeting our thoughts instead of spending time developing them. You can gauge how good a joke might be by how many times it gets retweeted, but it takes discipline to go back through the tweets and then develop jokes from them.

I have deep comedic roots, and I want to be funny.

There were always jokes about Hillary Clinton channeling Eleanor Roosevelt, but Eleanor Roosevelt was really instrumental at the UN, and would want to meet with various other delegates.

And there is always the argument-closing 'Villain, I have done thy mother', a retort from Titus Andronicus of such eviscerating wit that we still honour it today with jokes beginning with 'your mum'.

Why are Marines like bananas?" Bobby asked. "Because they're both yellow and die in big bunches

And you know, I love you, too," Wes told him. "And you know how I mean that, so no making any stupid jokes.

The final days of training ends with our private sessions. (...) There's a lot of kidding about it at lunch. What we might do. Sing, dance, strip, tell jokes. Mags, who I can understand a little better now, decides she's just going to take a nap.

Humor is an important quality that makes one cheerful in all walks of life. To cultivate this quality is very important. When the poison was given to Socrates, he was very humorous and made a few jokes. When the cup of hemlock was given to him he said, "Can I share a bit of it with the gods?" Then he smiled and said, "Poison has no power to kill a sage, for a sage lives in reality, and reality is eternal." He smiled and took the poison.

I'm from New York, I make kind of somewhat maybe lewd, at times - maybe some would say dirty - jokes. But in jest.

If money weren't cool, pseudo-socialists like Bill Maher and Chelsea Handler would tell jokes for free in soup kitchens.

I'm sick and I'm tired and I don't know where to go or what to do. well, at lunchtime we all ride down the elevator together making jokes and laughing and eating the recooked food; first they buy it then they fry it then they reheat it then the sell it, can't be a germ left in there or a vitamin either.

I'm sick and I'm tired and I don't know where to go or what to do. well, at lunchtime we all ride down the elevator together making jokes and laughing and eating the recooked food; first they buy it then they fry it then they reheat it then they sell it, can't be a germ left in there or a vitamin either.

Life likes jokes; life is constantly making jokes, even at the most inopportune moments.

Laughs, just laughs. It's the only motivation of a comic.

Everyone had a fudoki, Small Cat knew now. Everyone had their own stories, and the stories of their families and ancestors. There were adventures and love stories, or tricks and jokes and funny things that had happened or disasters. Everyone wanted to tell the stories, and to know where they fit in their own fudokis. She was not that different.

In the early years of the show, I had earned a reputation as the prankster who planted stink bombs under the audience seats, greased doorknobs and hid crew members' cars in bushes. I initiated practical jokes, laughter, ribbing and the sarcastic comments that flew around stage like the evil monkeys on The Wizard of Oz. My fellow cast members affectionately named me "Devil Boy.

All of a sudden Yutaka realized he had created a cloud of dust all around him. Oh no! No! This sucks. This blows more than your mama! Hey, now's not the time to come up with stupid jokes!

He said he wouldn't stay, as he didn't care much for the smell of the paint, and fell over the scraper as he went out. Must get the scraper removed, or else I shall get into a scrape. I don't often make jokes.

Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion.

They say memory is the first thing to go. The second thing to go is memory.

I've learned that when you get to be a certain age, you can get away with saying a lot of things, some of which wouldn't even be remotely funny if someone forty years younger said them. The Golden Girls ran for years off the same theory and basically used the same four jokes for seven marvelous seasons.