Quotes About Gender

Apparently beer contains female hormones. After you drink enough you can neither drive nor shut the hell up!

A man who says marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn't understand two things: 1 - Women, 2 - Fractions.

Men say women should come with instructions.. what's the point of that? Have you ever seen a man actually read the instructions?

Girls work on their looks but not on their minds because they know boys are stupid, not blind.

A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.

There are more men than women in mental hospitals...which just goes to show who's driving whom crazy.

Boy: Why can't tampons talk? Girl: Because they're stuck up bi...es.

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Real men don't wear pink, they eat it.

If you're a dude and it takes more than 20 seconds to take of your jeans because it's tight,You Gay !

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked."

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.

Borrow your wife's pink slippers just to go check the mail and everybody in the whole damn community will stop by to chat. True story. FML.

No one will win the battle of the sexes, there is too much flirting with the enemy.

Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can't get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse'.

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.

Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humour in the woman.

Men should be like Kleenex...soft, strong, disposable.

The older theory was, marry an older man because they're more mature. But the new theory is men don't mature. Marry a younger one.

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.

The trouble with censors is that they worry if a girl has cleavage. They ought to worry if she hasn't any

The working men, I'll go by and they'll whistle. At first they whistle because they think, 'Oh, it's a girl. She's got blond hair and she's not out of shape ' and then they say, 'Gosh, it's Marilyn Monroe!'