Quotes About Perception

I am in shape. Round is a shape... is not it?

Reality is a nice place to visit, but I sure would not want to live there

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute.

Advertisers constantly invent cures to which there is no disease.

The only people who really listen to an argument are the neighbours.

Every time someone tells me how sharp my photos are, I assume that it isn't a very interesting photograph. If it were, they would have more to say.

Buying a Nikon doesn't make you a photographer. It makes you a Nikon owner.

You know what a camera is? A mirror with memory.

You can only be called a hypocrite if you judge others first

In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf

Anyone driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.

Dieting is wishful shrinking

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness

Beware of the half truth. You may have gotten hold of the wrong half.

A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed.

The essence of intelligence is skill in extracting meaning from everyday experience.

Beauty is in the eye of it's beholder.

Love is blind, but friendship closes its eyes.

When a diplomat says yes he means perhaps; when he says perhaps he means no; when he says no he is no diplomat.

An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

I have a very firm grasp on reality! I can reach out and strangle it any time!

A genius is one who shoots at something no one else can see - and hits it.

If the human brain were simple enough to understand, we'd be so simple we couldn't.

Beware of the man who knows the answer before he understands the question.