Quotes About Perception

Is Dwight really like that in real life?" to which I respond: "Oh, no, Rainn isn't like Dwight. Dwight is an angel next to Rainn. Rainn is a demon.

That's why every doctor on TV is a drug addict, a sociopath, or just plain mega-rude. Doctors can do anything they want!

10. I will never have a husband and all my female acquaintances will. 11. I WILL have a husband and he will be like my female acquaintances' husbands.

Being called fat is not like being called stupid or unfunny, which is the worst thing you could ever say to me.

It sounds odd, but cheerful is very hard to find in Los Angeles. I think sometimes people think cheerful is a synonym for dumb, so no one is ever cheerful.

One very gratifying compliment I sometimes hear is that women want to be my best friend. This endlessly amuses my actual best friend, Jocelyn, because in her estimation I'm 'a good friend, but not that great.

I am telling you, the key to looking gorgeous is to never sit up straight. It implies you have not eaten enough to have the strength to sit like a regular person, which historically is sexy to everyone.

From now on, let's all agree that hooking up = sex. Everything else is "made out." And if you're older than twenty-eight, then just kissing someone doesn't count for crap and is not even worth mentioning. Unless you're Mormon, in which case you're going to hell.

I was surprised she'd heard us. When you're that low on the totem pole, you sometimes think you're so unimportant that no one can hear you. My sense of invisibility had made me loose-lipped.

I've found that a well-fitting padded bra can transform me from a pear-shaped woman to an hourglass-shaped woman. Okay, maybe not hourglass-shaped, but definitely, say, an egg-timer-shaped woman.

Women always take bad behavior by men and twist it to make it so it's somehow our fault, not theirs. It makes more sense to us that we're somehow wrong than the possibility that a man is being rude.

I have a complicated relationship with my body. ... I thought of it as the vehicle that carried me to and from places my brain wants to go, like my car.

When smart people are nice, it's always terrifying, because I know they're taking in everything and thinking all kinds of smart and potentially judgmental things.

The key to maximizing this perception is making sure you make lots of angry and tense phone calls while your clothes are being measured.

In my line of work every man wears exactly one outfit khakis, a late night with Jimmy Fallon t-shirt, and a hooded sweatshirt. If you don't people think you're a scientologist and no one will eat lunch with you.

I get worried that telling girls how difficult it is to be confident implies a tacit expectations that girls won't be able to do it.

One of the great things about women's magazines is that they accept that drinking water and sitting quietly will make your breasts huge and lips plump up to the size of two bratwursts.

depression is something that I've come to accept from my creative community and I realize that's probably alien to most people. I don't know why the funniest people I know are also depressed.

On TV I loved Mickey Mouse, but when I met the actual real-life Mickey, or rather, his impersonator, and he tried to hug me in his warm, fuzzy suit, I recoiled in fear.

Lots of stupid people were skinny, and yet I couldn't do this incredibly simple thing they could do with seeming ease.

This photo is more significant because it is a rare time where my head looks normal size. I have enormous head, so it is important to me to have a few flattering, head-minimizing photos.

The one notable thing about Steve's niceness is that he is also very smart, and that kind of niceness has always made me nervous. When smart people are nice, it's always terrifying, because I know they're taking in everything and thinking all kinds of smart and potentially judgmental things.

Back then, we all thought Lever 2000 was the best because the number "2000" seemed so impressive. Were there 1999 formulas before they landed on this one? That sounds really well researched. I'm in!

There is no difference between Ripley from Alien and any Katherine Heigl character.