Quotes About Celebration

Gee, what a terrific party. Later on we'll get some fluid and embalm each other.

No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.

Congratulations to each and every one of you for the concert last night in New York and vice versa.

I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.'

Nothing says "deeply in mourning" like canapés and free beer.

I was glad to see Italy win. All the guys on the team were Italians.

All New Years is to me is for taking down your dumb Christmas decorations. People who put up Christmas decorations, all they're saying is, 'Hey, we're not Jews.'

I'm a huge fan of Adam Sandler and used to have Adam Sandler nights when I was younger. And he's so funny on the set.

So OK, it's your special big Four-O birthday But don't expect me to be obsequious and fawning You, being you, can't possibly be a good example So do try, at least, to serve as a warning

And then all of a sudden, you're doing jumping jacks, you're happy, because Kane can talk. The Big Red Retard can finally speak.

You know me. Any excuse to put on a dress.

If you lived today as if it were your last, you'd buy up a box of rockets and fire them all off, wouldn't you?

One year I was given a birthday present I'll never forget - a cooking lesson from Jamie Oliver.

Buddha is pretty funny. Buddha is the coolest, though. If I had to go with one, I'd probably party with the Buddha.

Last night I went out for Chinese. I picked up a Team USA Olympic uniform.

If Pete Rose brings the Reds in first, they ought to bronze him and put him in cement.

Billy Almon has all of his in-laws and outlaws here this afternoon.

The Phillies beat the Cubs today in a doubleheader. That puts another keg in the Cubs' coffin.

It was a great Olympics - Team USA finished the games with 17 more medals than China. China said it was tough to swallow - especially when they had to make all of our "We're #1" T-shirts.

As it's your 40th birthday This, we'd like to say May you be bathed in goodness, happiness and sunshineness On this, your special day.

TLC should stand for Toddlers, Lunatics, and Cake.

AT&T to wed T-Mobile. Following the ceremony there will be no reception.

This is a great day for France!

I took a baby shower.