Quotes About David Sedaris

You people are...assholes! I mean, what the hell, you can't even applaud for your own teenagers? I'd meant to but figured the team was back in coach.

Now it seems cruel, abusive even, but this all happened before the invention of self-esteem, which, frankly, I think is a little overrated.

It seemed like such a television moment, the intimacy unearned—grotesque, almost.

He led me to the barn, where a Mexican man stood waiting for his turn at the shower. "Whole-aah, Toe-moss," he shouted.

It would make me eligible for health insurance, which I'll need after I slit my wrists.

He tells me that my life is empty, but it isn't quite because I bought some pot today.

Maybe you should grow a Vandyke." I didn't say that I'd rather have herpes, as the doctor had a Vandyke himself. It looked like he'd taken a big gulp from a mugful of hair.

It maybe wasn't the best story in the world, but, as the mouse had told him on more than one occasion, it wasn't the worst either.

I guess my guilty pleasure would be listening to the British audio versions of the 'Harry Potter' books.