Quotes About Awareness

Age attacks when we least expect it.

I never leave a dog alone in a car on a hot day. I make sure it's with an elderly person holding a baby.

Dont go looking for pancakes when you have flapjacks at home.

God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say thank you?

I don't at all like knowing what people say of me behind my back. It makes me far too conceited.

An engineer is someone who washes his hands before going to the toilet.

I was dating a guy for a while because he told me he had an incurable disease. I didn't realize it was stupidity.

If you see a bandwagon, its too late.

Don't talk about a rope in the house of someone whose father was hung.

Watch out, they spit!

Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus.

If the enemy is in range, so are you.

Education is a progressive discovery of your own ignorance.

Those who do not study are only cattle dressed up in mens clothes.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you.

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.

Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious.

Nobody cares that youre smart and nobody cares that your kids dont have bruises.

The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended-and not to take a hint when a hint is not intended.

I'm so poor I can't even pay attention.

They speak of my drinking, but never think of my thirst.

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

A woman reading Playboy feels a little like a Jew reading a Nazi manual.

The truth is, I've never fooled anyone. I've let men sometimes fool themselves.