Quotes About Empathy

But when we reduce the conversation to simply passing judgment, we are left with no conversation at all.

The smaller we feel in the world, the more we need to shine in the eyes of our partner.

Often, when one partner insists that they don't yet feel acknowledged, even as the one who hurt them insists they feel terrible, it is because the response is still more shame than guilt, and therefore self-focused.

Neutralizing each other's complexity affords us a kind of manageable otherness.

For these couples, fidelity is defined not by sexual exclusivity but by the strength of their commitment.

These couples, in their own ways, have chosen to acknowledge the possibility of the third: the recognition that our partner has his or her own sexuality, replete with fantasies and desires that aren't necessarily about us. When we validate one another's freedom within the relationship, we're less inclined to search for it elsewhere.

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Intimate betrayal feels intensely personal—a direct attack in the most vulnerable place. However, looking through the lens of the damage it caused the aggrieved partner, we see only one side of the story. Cheating is what they did to their partner, but what were they doing for themselves? And why?

Intimacy is "into-me-see." I am going to talk to you, my beloved, and I am going to share with you my most prized possessions, which are no longer my dowry and the fruit of my womb but my hopes, my aspirations, my fears, my longings, my feelings—in other words, my inner life. And you, my beloved, will give me eye contact. No scrolling while I bare my soul. I need to feel your empathy and validation. My significance depends on it.

Affairs have a lot to teach us about relationships—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to.

Understanding infidelity does not mean justifying it.

Couples therapist Michele Scheinkman emphasizes how important it is to hold a dual perspective that encompasses the differentiated experiences of the couple, something they are unable to do for themselves at this time.

My role as a therapist is to create a safe space where the diversity of experiences can be explored with compassion.

Before, I trusted too much and was naive. Now I realize that even the best people can't always get it right and end up acting out. We are all human and anyone is capable of doing what Anais did, even me.

forgiving doesn't mean giving the other a free pass. It's a gift one gives oneself.

Only when the betrayed partner feels emotionally met will he or she be able to listen to explanations without hearing them as justifications.

The shift from shame to guilt is crucial. Shame is a state of self-absorption, while guilt is an empathic, relational response, inspired by the hurt you have caused another. We know from trauma that healing begins when perpetrators acknowledge their wrongdoing.

And when we haven't been touched in years, we are more vulnerable to the kindness of strangers.

The adherents of talk intimacy (often, though not always, women) have a hard time recognizing these other languages for closeness

Those who cannot easily forgive will not collect many friends. Look for the best in others and yourself.

Remember, a friend does not need you to impress him. A friend loves you because you are true to yourself, not because you agree with him. Beware of grand gestures; the real mettle of friendship is forged in life's daily workings.

I want to want to try to never waste energy degrading someone else. Also, I want to try not to see life as a competition.

That's the point of acting: to bring about awareness of humanity, to conjure compassion, and to alleviate shame.

In singing our song, in telling our story, in inviting you to say 'Hey, listen to me, and i'll listen to you', we're starting a dialogue. And when you do that, this healing happens, and we come out of our corners, and we start to witness each other's common humanity. We start to assert it. And when we do that, really good things happen