Quotes About Empathy

In the context of marriage, if we do not feel loved, our differences are magnified. We come to view each other as a threat to our happiness. We fight for self-worth and significance, and marriage becomes a battlefield rather than a haven.

We must first learn what is important to our spouse.

For example, a wife might pressure her husband to look for a more lucrative job. The wife thinks she's encouraging her spouse, but to him it sounds more like condemnation. But if he has the desire and motivation to seek a better position, her words will bolster his resolve. Until he has that desire, her words will come across as judgmental and guilt inducing. They express not love but rejection.

Sometimes our words say one thing, but our tone of voice says another.

No matter how hard you try to express love in English, if your spouse understands only Chinese, you will never understand how to love each other.

If we speak only our primary language and encounter someone else who speaks only his or her primary language, which is different from ours, our communication will be limited. We must rely on pointing, grunting, drawing pictures, or acting out our ideas. We can communicate, but it is awkward. Language differences are part and parcel of human culture. If we are to communicate effectively across cultural lines, we must learn the language of those with whom we wish to communicate.

True Christianity does more than feel empathy for those in need. True Christianity meets that need. — James Stuart Bell —

When I have been wronged by my spouse and she has painfully confessed it and requested forgiveness, I have the option of justice or forgiveness.

The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love. It is a fact, however, that when we receive affirming words we are far more likely to be motivated to reciprocate and do something our spouse desires.

A willingness to examine and change stereotypes is necessary in order to express love more effectively. Remember, there are no rewards for maintaining stereotypes, but there are tremendous benefits to meeting the emotional needs of your spouse.

The key is to learn the primary love language of your spouse and choose to speak it.

Now I realize that she didn't want advice when she told me about her struggles at work. She wanted sympathy. She wanted me to listen, to give her attention, to let her know that I could understand the hurt, the stress, the pressure. She wanted to know that I loved her and that I was with her. She didn't want advice; she just wanted to know that I understood.

Having said all of that, let me suggest that you spend some time writing down what you think is your primary love language. Then list the other four in order of importance. Also write down what you think is the primary love language of your spouse. You may also list the other four in order of importance if you wish. Sit down with your spouse and discuss what you guessed to be his/her primary love language. Then tell each other what you consider to be your own primary love language.

Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from your spouse's perspective. We must first learn what is important to our spouse. Only then can we give encouragement

Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment. It is a choice to show mercy, not t hold the offense up against the offender. Forgiveness is an expression of love.

Forgiveness is an expression of love.

When your spouse is angry and upset and lashing out words of heat, if you choose to be loving, you will not reciprocate with additional heat but with a soft voice. You will receive what he is saying as information about his emotional feelings. You will let him tell you of his hurt, anger, and perception of events. You will seek to put yourself in his shoes and see the event through his eyes and then express softly and kindly your understanding of why he feels that way.

choice to show mercy, not to hold the offense up against the offender. Forgiveness is an expression of love.

Love doesn't keep a score of wrongs. Love doesn't bring up past failures. None of us is perfect.

Learning to listen may be as difficult as learning a foreign language, but learn we must, if we want to communicate love. That

Physical touch can make or break a relationship. It can communicate hate or love.

If your enemies are hungry, give them food to eat. If they are thirsty, give them water to drink. —Proverbs 25:21

Clearly our bodies are for touching, but not for abuse.

It is the choice to expend energy in an effort to benefit the other person, knowing that if his or her life is enriched by your effort, you too will find a sense of satisfaction--the satisfaction of having genuinely loved another. It does not require the euphoria of the 'in-love' experience. In fact, true love cannot begin until the 'in-love' experience has run its course.