Quotes About Empathy

I came to the conclusion that, even in life, unless I'm responding with my whole self—unless, in fact, I'm willing to be changed by you—I'm probably not really listening. But if I do listen—openly, naïvely, and innocently—there's a chance, possibly the only chance, that a true dialogue and real communication will take place between us.

Not being truly engaged with the people we're trying to communicate with, and then suffering the snags of misunderstanding, is the grit in the gears of daily life.

Even when we think of empathy as a tool for good, it might not be a good idea to oversell its strengths, and we should remember that there will always be people who will use it against others for their own benefit.

I hope they'll pay attention not so much to the mechanical things, like a sudden change of pace in a talk or a sudden change in volume of their voice. I hope they'll pay attention, instead, to the fundamental source of that pacing and volume, which is the connection with the other person. That connection makes us respond like a leaf in the breeze to whatever is happening in the faces of those in front of us.

The person who's communicating something is responsible for how well the other person follows him.

While leadership is important, just as important is how leadership is communicated. On the one hand, you can command good performance from someone in exchange for not firing them. On the other hand, you might be able to ignite the desire in a person to perform well by tuning in to their state of mind.

When you're with someone, try labeling … is Jack upset? Is Jane excited? … It'll change how you hear what they're saying.

As long as it doesn't seem fake, the more we establish familiarity with our audience - not speaking to them from left field or from on high - the better chance we have that they'll listen to what we have to say. And possibly even accept it.

We were developing empathy and the ability to be aware of what was happening in the mind of another person. This, we realized, is the key, the fundamental ingredient without which real communication can't happen. Developing empathy and learning to recognize what the other person is thinking are both essential to good communication, and are what this book is about.

If I'm trying to explain something and you don't follow me, it's not simply your job to catch up. It's my job to slow down. This is at the heart of communicating: If I tell you something without making sure you got it, did I really communicate anything? Was I talking to you, or was I just making noises? In the mirror exercise, is the leader enabling the follower to follow, or is he just waving his arms?

It's being so aware of the other person that, even if you have your back to them, you're observing them. It's letting everything about them affect you; not just their words, but also their tone of voice, their body language, even subtle things like where they're standing in the room or how they occupy a chair. Relating is letting all that seep into you and have an effect on how you respond to the other person.

Listening is being able to be changed by the other person.

Real conversation can't happen if listening is just my waiting for you to finish talking.

I didn't know it, but what I was really looking for was compassion. Not consciously of course. I didn't consciously want to become compassionate. Who in his right mind would give up his place at the center of the universe? Compassion is scary. If you open up too much to people, they have power over you and make you i things for them. Better to keep them at a distance ...

Real listening is a willingness to let the other person change you. When I'm willing to let them change me, something happens between us that's more interesting than monologues. Like so much of what I learned in the theater, this turned out how life works, too.

The difference between listening and pretending to listen, I discovered, is enormous. One is fluid, the other is rigid. One is alive, the other is stuffed. Eventually, I found a radical way of thinking about listening. Real listening is a willingness to let the other person change you. When I'm willing to let them change me, something happens between us that's more interesting than a pair of dueling monologues.

No man or woman of the humblest sort can really be strong, gentle and good, without the world being better for it, without somebody being helped and comforted by the very existence of that goodness.

Real listening is a willingness to let the other person change you.

Communication doesn't take place because you tell somebody something. It takes place when you observe them closely and track their ability to follow you. Like

You can tell a lot about people by the way they treat the help.

Sometimes, being willing to see the other person means you have to be willing to let them see you.

Jean Paul Sartre says in "No Exit" that hell is other people. Well, our task in life is to make it heaven. Or at least earth.

Oh! Well, Many happy returns of the day, Eeyore." "And many happy returns to you, Pooh Bear." "But it isn't my birthday." "No, it's mine." "But you said 'Many happy returns'--" "Well, why not? You don't always want to be miserable on my birthday, do you?

I knew I wanted to act from when I was five, and I started studying seriously when I was six and seven. Not with anybody else, but I used to watch the world as if it was a performance and I would realize that certain things that people did moved me, and certain things didn't move me, and I tried to analyze, even at that age, six and seven and eight, why I was moved by certain things they did.