Quotes About Empathy

Truth is, nothing you say can ensure that the other person will get it, or respond the way you want. You may never exceed his threshold of deafness. She may never love you, not now or ever. And if you are courageous in initiating, extending, or deepening a difficult conversation, you may feel even more anxious and uncomfortable, at least in the short run.

We commonly confuse closeness with sameness and view intimacy as the merging of two separate "I's" into one worldview.

The right to be different, whether by choice or necessity, is our greatest right as human beings. And dealing with differences is the greatest of all human challenges. People react anxiously and fearfully to differences. We learn to hate, glorify, deny, exaggerate, or eradicate a difference.

Moving in this direction requires us to clarify—to ourselves and others—what's important to us. Having an authentic voice means that: We can openly share competence as well as problems and vulnerability. We can warm things up and calm them down. We can listen and ask questions that allow us to truly know the other person and to gather information about anything that may affect us. We can say what we think and feel, state differences, and allow the

experience of our self and the other person becomes fixed and small. My goal is to challenge us to engage in novel conversations that will create a larger, more empowering view of who we are and what is truly possible.

Our goal will be to have relationships with both men and women that do not operate at the expense of the self, and to have a self that does not operate at the expense of the other.

Working to restore our voice with members of our first family can be a terrific learning experience. We didn't choose these difficult folks, but, as adults, how we talk to them is up to us. Observing and changing our part in family conversations is one royal road to change. In other words, if you can learn to speak clearly and to respond in a new way with your difficult mother or sister, then other relationships will be a piece of cake.

Remember that women have a long legacy of assuming responsibility for other people's feelings and for caring for others at the expense of the self. Some of us may care for others by picking up their dirty socks or doing their "feeling work"; some by being less strong, self-directed, and competent than we can be so as to avoid threatening those important to us. Changing our legacy is possible but not easy. Think small to begin with, but think.

The right to be different, whether by choice or necessity, is our greatest right as human beings. And dealing with differences is the greatest of all human challenges. People react anxiously and fearfully to differences. We learn to hate, glorify, deny, exaggerate, or eradicate a difference. Or we try to get comfortable by shaming the different person or group.

Surely human consciousness would take a big leap forward if our wish to hear and understand were as great as our wish to be heard and understood.

If the other person has pushed through his or her discomfort to do the right thing and apologize, we can push through our discomfort and say, "Thanks for the apology." It's important to resist the temptation to cancel the effort at repair that a genuine apology is.

Getting older brings the comforting knowledge that the things we consider most shameful and weird about ourselves are actually pretty universal—or if not, that other folks have their own shameful and weird stuff. This growing realization that we're not so unique makes it easier to share who we really are and how we got there.

The healing power of a good apology is also immediately recognizable. When someone offers me a genuine apology, I feel relieved and soothed. Whatever anger and resentment I may still be harboring melts away. I also feel better when I offer an apology I know is due. I'm enormously grateful that I can repair the disconnection after having made a mistake or acted badly.

A marital therapist recently teased me, "Are you writing another book to help women speak up? I'm trying to help my clients be quiet." Then she said more seriously, "Why do people think they have to tell each other everything they feel?

Parent Effectiveness Training.

When we speak from the heart, we long for an ear to hear us, and we all have experienced that down feeling when we perceive ourselves as written off or misunderstood.

It is the intensity of our reactions toward another person's problem that ensures not only the escalation but also the continuation of the problem itself.

Duygusal olgunluÄŸun en önemli dönüm noktalar?ndan birisi çoÄŸul gerçeÄŸin geçerliliÄŸini fark etmek ve insanlar?n farkl? düÅŸünüp, farkl? hissedip, farkl? tepki verdiklerini anlamakt?r.

Intimacy can happen only after we work toward a more solid self, based on a clear understanding of our part in the relationship patterns that keep us stuck.

When it comes to fighting shame, sticking together is the most powerful force imaginable.

I resonate with the words of Anaïs Nin, "Each friend represents a world in us.

We can operate from a solid position of self, even when the other person won't speak to us at all.

people who feel shamed and inadequate themselves tend to pass it on. I'm sure you've noticed that many individuals and groups try to enhance their self-esteem by diminishing others.

Keep the lines of communication open in the family without inviting others to blame or take sides in your battles. It's