Quotes About Empathy

Notice that supportive touch alone makes the difference. "Talking about it" may be of limited use when a mate is anxious or irritable. Talking uses the rational brain, while holding your partner instead—preferably in silence—soothes the "problem child" itself, the amygdala. (Guys will appreciate the "in silence" part.) The time to talk will come later when perspective is restored.

Treat others as compassionately as you want to be treated. Keep in mind that needy, demanding behaviors often arise from a healthy, natural longing for the deep connections upon which humanity is designed to thrive.

A friend supports you when you are down. An enemy strikes at your weakest point.

Catherine was there, waiting. Catherine would take the pain away. Catherine would hold him and soothe the heartache; she would understand and share the sense of overwhelming loss he felt. She was his life, his sanity. God … how he needed her.

People with BPD are like people with third degree burns over 90% of their bodies. Lacking emotional skin, they feel agony at the slightest touch or movement.

I honestly didn't realize at the time that I was dealing with myself. But I suppose it's true that I developed a therapy that provides the things I needed for so many years and never got.

My only requirement was that the house have a basement so we could provide housing for the poor. Kelly

Keeping a stiff upper lip may be needed while around the person invalidating you, but on your own, there is every reason to be compassionate and self-­soothing. It does hurt to be invalidated.

I didn't know! I was here with you all the time. How could I know you were so alone?

How can I get up everyday knowing you had to kill yourself to make it stop hurting and I was here all the time and I never even saw it. And then you gave me this chance to make it better, convince you to stay alive and I couldn't do it. How can I live with myself after this, Jessie?

there is considerably less violence in cultures where people think in terms of human needs than in cultures where people label one another as "good" or "bad" and believe that the "bad" ones deserve to be punished. In

Our attention is focused on classifying, analyzing, and determining levels of wrongness rather than on what we and others need and are not getting.

All criticism, attack, insults, and judgments vanish when we focus attention on hearing the feelings and needs behind a message. The more we practice in this way, the more we realize a simple truth: behind all those messages we've allowed ourselves to be intimidated by are just individuals with unmet needs appealing to us to contribute to their well-being.

With every choice you make, be conscious of what need it serves.

This world is what we have made of it. If it is ruthless today it is because we have made it ruthless by our attitudes. If we change ourselves we can change the world, and changing ourselves begins with changing our language and methods of communication. I highly recommend reading this book and applying the Nonviolent Communication process it teaches. It is a significant first step toward changing our communication and creating a compassionate world. –Arun Gandhi

MBR: In my lifetime I've been called a multitude of names, yet I can't recall seriously learning anything by being told what I am. I'd like to learn from your appreciation and enjoy it, but I would need more information.

As is often the case, these groups were more skilled in analyzing the perceived wrongness of others than in clearly expressing their own needs.

While we may not consider the way we talk to be "violent," words often lead to hurt and pain, whether for others or ourselves. In

my partner wants more affection than I'm giving her, she is "needy and dependent." But if I want more affection than she is giving me, then she is "aloof and insensitive.

We only feel dehumanized when we get trapped in derogatory images of other people or thoughts of wrongness about ourselves. As author and mythologist Joseph Campbell suggested, "'What will they think of me?' must be put aside for bliss." We begin to feel this bliss when messages previously experienced as critical or blaming begin to be seen for the gifts they are: opportunities to give to people who are in pain.

NVC heightens our awareness that what others say and do may be the stimulus, but never the cause, of our feelings. We see that our feelings result from how we choose to receive what others say and do, as well as from our particular needs and expectations in that moment. With this third component, we are led to accept responsibility for what we do to generate our own feelings.

Everyone clings to their history with a vengeance, because it anchors their identity. So when Marshall advocated peaceful talk, he was advocating a new identity at the same time. He fully realized this fact. As he states about Nonviolent Communication and the role of the mediator in this new third edition, "We're trying to live a different value system while we are asking for things to change.

Do not judge, and you will not be judged. For as you judge others, so you will yourselves be judged… —Holy Bible, Matthew 7:1

feelings result from how we choose to receive what others say and do, as well as from our particular needs and expectations in that moment.