Quotes About Empathy

behind all those messages we've allowed ourselves to be intimidated by are just individuals with unmet needs appealing to us to contribute to their well-being.

if my partner wants more affection than I'm giving her, she is "needy and dependent." But if I want more affection than she is giving me, then she is "aloof and insensitive." If my colleague is more concerned about details than I am, he is "picky and compulsive." On the other hand, if I am more concerned about details than he is, he is "sloppy and disorganized.

When we focus on clarifying what is being observed, felt, and needed rather than on diagnosing and judging, we discover the depth of our own compassion

However, the most powerful way to communicate that we are making a genuine request is to empathize with people when they don't agree to the request.

Choosing to request rather than demand does not mean we give up when someone says no to our request. It does mean that we don't engage in persuasion until we have empathized with what's preventing the other person from saying yes.

It may appear that the child cares for the parent and feels bad because the parent is suffering. However, if children who assume this kind of responsibility change their behavior in accordance with parental wishes, they are not acting from the heart, but acting to avoid guilt.

An important aspect of self-compassion is to be able to empathically hold both parts of ourselves—the self that regrets a past action and the self that took the action in the first place. The process of mourning and self-forgiveness frees us in the direction of learning and growing. In connecting moment by moment to our needs, we increase our creative capacity to act in harmony with them.

Si quieres confundir cualquier situación puedo decirte cómo hacerlo: Mezcla lo que hice con tu reacción al respecto.

The more we interpret noncompliance as rejection, the more likely our requests will be heard as demands. This leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy, for the more people hear demands, the less they enjoy being around us.

Seu principal mérito é nos ensinar a nos colocarmos no lugar do outro, desenvolvendo a empatia, que é de grande ajuda até em casos mais difíceis de ruptura e má comunicação.

Assim, quando fazemos algo pouco enaltecedor, nosso desafio é nos autoavaliarmos a cada momento, de modo que nos inspiremos a mudar (1) na direção em que gostaríamos de ir e (2) por respeito e compaixão com nós mesmos, em vez de por ódio, culpa ou vergonha.

What I want in my life is compassion, a flow between myself and others based on a mutual giving from the heart.

All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently those people deserve to be punished.

At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled.

We only feel dehumanized when we get trapped in the derogatory images of other people or thoughts of wrongness about ourselves. As author and mythologist Joseph Campbell suggested, "'What will they think of me?' must be put aside for bliss." We begin to feel this bliss when messages previously experienced as critical or blaming begin to be seen for the gifts they are: opportunities to give to people who are in pain.

To practice the process of conflict resolution, we must completely abandon the goal of getting people to do what we want.

Analyses of others are actually expressions of our own needs and values.

In this stage, which I refer to as emotional slavery, we believe ourselves responsible for the feelings of others. We think we must constantly strive to keep everyone happy. If they don't appear happy, we feel responsible and compelled to do something about it. This can easily lead us to see the very people who are closest to us as burdens.

focus on clarifying what is being observed, felt, and needed rather than on diagnosing and judging

Anger is a result of life-alienating thinking that is disconnected from needs. It indicates that we have moved up to our head to analyze and judge somebody rather than focus on what we are needing and not getting.

What some of us call lazy some call tired or easy-going, what some of us call stupid some just call a different knowing, so I've come to the conclusion, it will save us all confusion if we don't mix up what we can see with what is our opinion. Because you may, I want to say also; I know that's only my opinion. —Ruth Bebermeyer

This objective of getting what we want from other people—or getting them to do what we want them to do—threatens the autonomy of people, their right to choose what they want to do. And whenever people feel that they're not free to choose what they want to do, they are likely to resist, even if they see the purpose in what we are asking and would ordinarily want to do it.

I am not easily frightened. Not because I am brave but because I know that I am dealing with human beings, and that I must try as hard as I can to understand everything that anyone ever does. And that was the real import of this morning: not that a disgruntled young Gestapo officer yelled at me, but that I felt no indignation, rather a real compassion

We will meet the forces of hate with the power of love. . . . We must say to our white brothers all over the South, We will match your capacity to inflict suffering with our capacity to endure suffering. . . . Bomb our homes and we will still love you. . . . We will so appeal to your heart and conscience that we will win you in the process.