Quotes About Lightbulb

Thomas Edison was a graduate of Cooper Union. Like Otis, he is principally famous for things he didn't do. He didn't invent electricity, or the lightbulb, the phonograph or the movies. These misappropriations didn't bother him much: he didn't correct folk. What he was good at, what he really knew, was patents.

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" "I don't know. How many?" "Eight." "Why?" "Oh, stop overanalyzing it.

How many software developers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, it's a hardware problem.

I keep going, because now I'm fascinated by the way Roamer's veins are throbbing, and the way his head looks like a lightbulb, all lit up and too bright.

Fame changes a lot of things, but it can't change a lightbulb.

How many consultants does it take to change a lightbulb? I'll have an estimate for you a week from Monday.

How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb? How many therapists do you think it takes to change a lightbulb?

How many pessimists does it take to change a lightbulb? Never mind. Nobody would get the joke anyway.

If the AG had been a lightbulb instead of a lawyer, he would have been about a twenty-watt.

Q: How many alto singers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None. They can't reach that high.

How many genetic engineers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Eleven—one to do the work, and the other ten to figure out why it doesn't have a double helix." "What's the definition of a virgin genetic engineer? A nerd with too many pocket protectors.

Why don't you share how you hurt your leg? I'm guessing it was a football injury." "No way," Barnstorm scoffs. "The tackler isn't born who can catch me. I was changing a lightbulb in the bathroom and I slipped off the toilet seat.

How many Jewish grandmothers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? You shouldn't worry . . . I'll sit in the dark.

I've just confirmed every bad joke ever told about second violin players. Question: How many second violinists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Answer: They can't go that high. Gerda

Edison was not a loner. For the invention of the lightbulb, he had thirty assistants, including well-trained scientists, often working around the clock in a corporate-funded state-of-the-art laboratory!

My kids are blissfully unaware of anything I do. I asked my four-year-old, Harrison, what I did, and he said, 'You're an electrician.' He must have seen me changing a lightbulb.

Fame changes a lot of things, but it can't change a lightbulb.

How many people does the Communist Party think it takes to change a lightbulb in China? About 63.5 million, the number of its members

My first starring role was in 'Rumpelstiltskin' and the lightbulb moment for me came when I had to stamp my foot at the end and walk off the stage. Everyone laughed and I thought, 'this is great.'

How many bodybuilders does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It takes four. One bodybuilder to screw in the bulb, and three others to watch and say, "Really, dude, you look huge!

There is no better time than the autumn to begin forgetting the things that trouble us, allowing them to fall away like dried leaves. There is no better time to dance again, to make the most of every crumb of sunlight and warm body and soul with its rays before it falls asleep and becomes only a dim lightbulb in the skies.

Sometimes life isn't magical, you see. Sometimes life is everyday. Its a trip to the keycutters in a rushed lunch break. It's the light, high rattle of a lightbulb's broken filament. It's your neighbour coming round to tell you you've left your car lights on. Yes rarely its something outer. Maybe it's the glance of a girl on Charlotte street, for example. But how long before a glance runs out? How long can you keep coasting on a look?

The autopsy took place in the morning and was the best argument for the buddy systemI had ever seen. Never live alone, I told myself. Before you chane a lightbulb, call someone from the other room and have him watch until you are finished.

He studied me. "You were in Nam?" I nodded. "Yep." He turned to Lolo. "Hey, Chief, how many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" She stared at him. "I don't know." He pointed his cigar at her in an agitated fashion. "That's right, because you weren't there, man!" We