Quotes About Hemorrhoids

They told me that "with age comes wisdom", but all I got was hemorrhoids." - Lecture tour for "Steal This Urine Test

The "stiff, dead, retracted pelvis" is one of man's most frequent vegetative disturbances. It is responsible for lumbago as well as for hemorrhoidal disturbances. Elsewhere, we shall demonstrate an important connection between these disturbances and genital cancer in women, which is so common. Thus, the "deadning of the pelvis" has the same function as the deadening of the abdomen, i.e., to avoid feelings, particularly those of pleasure and anxiety.

I heard every time you call an excommunicated priest 'Father,' an angel gets hemorrhoids.

Bones: "But cannabis has been used for thousands of years in a medicinal capacity. Even the ancient Egyptians used marijuana to treat hemorrhoids." Booth: "Which, you know, they probably got from sitting around being stoned all day."

He once told me the difference, as he saw it, between an author and a writer. An author (he said) is what they put on your passport, because in Europe they think a writer is a newspaperman. An author is somebody who get his name on the spine of leather-bound volumes that are never read; a writer is someone who gets hemorrhoids from sitting on his ass all his life...writing.

Perhaps Manolete was a hoof fetishist, or suffered from terrible hemorrhoids as a result of long nights in Spanish horn parlors Ã¢â'¬Â¦ but he was a great matador, and it is hard to see how any amount of Freudian theorizing can have the slightest effect on the reality of the thing he did best.

We Don't Get Enough Fiber: We know that the word "fiber" is something you may associate with old age, constipation, or both. But the fact is that Americans don't get enough of this colon-cleansing form of carbohydrates. This low-fiber diet is directly related to our high incidence of hemorrhoids

It would be an idyllic tropical paradise if not for the malaria, the insects, the constant diarrhea and resulting hemorrhoids, and the fact that the people are dirty and smell bad and eat each other and use human heads for decoration.