Quotes About Kadrey

If Jesus was a bartender, He would still only be half as cool as Carlos.

Twenty percent? What am I, your waiter? I got you five vampires, not a BLT.

Most people are idiots. There's nothing worse than idiots who tell you their opinions.

If Mason wasn't crazy before, he's definitely joined the banana army now.

Make her stop. I'm hungover and she has a robot. It's not fair." "Life is fair only in the grave and in the bedroom. This, you will notice, is neither.

But these days, I'm working on the theory that killing everyone I don't like might be counterproductive.

Lucifer was his name in Perdition. In Heaven, he's Samael.

But hanging around with a bunch of incorporeal fuckups sounds downright depressing, and I don't need more of that right now.

Abbot's place looks like a shack fucked an outhouse and they had an ugly baby.

Heaven for the weather and Hell for the company." "Who said that?" "Mark Twain.

The Council is staring at me. I've been down here a hundred days and still, anytime I say anything but yes or no, they look at me like I'm a talking giraffe.

I actually feel kind of bad for the little curs. It's not their fault they're a cannibal florist shop.

If you're going to get shot, a gold .45 is the classy way to do it.

I promise you eternal torment if you do not deliver to me a chocolate brownie.

And, of course, there's LAPD surveillance cams. But they can go fuck themselves at the best of times and right now, they can fuck themselves and Mount Rushmore too.