Quotes About Conversation

Murder is always a mistake. One should never do anything that one cannot talk about after dinner.

A lot of good arguments are spoiled by some fool who knows what he is talking about.

I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one.

My horse's jockey was hitting the horse. The horse turns around and says "Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!"

Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting.

Nobody ever says, "Can I have your beets?

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

I met this girl, she was an actress, and she gave me her number. It started with 555.

I was talking aloud to myself. A habit of the old: they choose the wisest person present to speak to

The really important things are said over cocktails and are never done.

I went to a restaurant with my friend, and he said, "Pass the salt." I said, "Screw you! Sit closer to the salt."

The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.

I cannot speak well enough to be unintelligible.

So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?' He said 'It depends where you're calling from.'

You can say, 'Can I use your bathroom?' and nobody cares. But if you ask, 'Can I use the plop-plop machine?' it always breaks the conversation.

There is a monsterous deal of stupid quizzing, & common-place nonsense talked, but scarcely any wit.

The Art of Conversation could not die in Australia; it never lived. Television did not kill it; there was nothing there to kill.

Today I dialed a wrong number... The other person said, "Hello?" and I said, "Hello, could I speak to Joey?"... They said, "Uh... I don't think so... he's only 2 months old." I said, "I'll wait."

There is a certain type of conversation one hears only when one is drunk and it is like a dream, full of humor and threat and significance, deep significance.

I won't say I was slow developer, but our teacher was quite pleased to have someone her own age in the class to talk to.

I phoned the local ramblers club today and this bloke just went on and on.

So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.'

That's why when I send a postcard I quiz people. "Hey, did you get that postcard?" "Yeah, yeah yeah." "Well what'd I say?" "Uh, you were havin-" "I was in jail"

And then there was my mate who'd just been fitted with a brand new hearing aid. "It's the best in the world", he said. "What type is it?", I asked and he said "ten past twelve".