Quotes from Robert A. Glover

There are no perfect relationships. There are no perfect partners. Relationships by their very nature are chaotic, eventful, and challenging.

Just about everything a Nice Guy does is consciously or unconsciously calculated to gain someone's approval or to avoid disapproval.

What one man can do, another man can do.

In dog obedience school we learned that if you want an undesirable behavior to go away, you stop paying attention to it.

there is plenty for everyone. Everything we need is flowing by us — all we have to do is get out of the way of our own small thinking and let it come. Look

Relationships are messy and there is no way to eliminate the bumps and potholes, but we don't have to make them any more difficult than they already are.

List one fear that has been controlling your life. Once you decide to confront the fear, begin repeating to yourself, I can handle it. No matter what happens, I will handle it. Keep repeating this mantra until you take action and stop feeling fear.

Discovering passion and purpose requires figuring out what works and what doesn't. Mature, successful people establish their on rules. These rules are measured by only one standard: do they work?

covert contracts and caretaking only lead to frustration and resentment.

Fathers need to take their sons hunting and fishing, work on cars with them, take them to work, coach their teams, take them to ball games, work out with them, take them on business trips, and let them tag along with them when they go out with the guys. All of these activities help boys move successfully into the male world. This process is not just limited to a man's biological sons. Nice Guys can get involved with young relatives, scouts, sports teams, school activities, or big brothers.

In reality, the primary paradigm of the Nice Guy Syndrome is nothing more than a big covert contract with life. Breaking

When recovering Nice Guys decide they will no longer settle for anything less than good sex, they begin to take responsibility for doing something different. •?They let go of the concept of being a great lover. •?They practice being clear and direct. •?They choose available partners. •?They don't settle for scraps. •?They decide that bad sex is not better than no sex!

By trying to please everyone, Nice Guys often end up pleasing no one — including themselves. Seeking

I define personal power as a state of mind in which a person is confident he can handle whatever may come. This kind of power not only successfully deals with problems, challenges and adversity, it actually welcomes them, meets them head on, and is thankful for them. Personal power isn't the absence of fear. Even the most powerful people have fear. Personal power is the result of feeling fear, but not giving in to the fear.

Toxic shame is the belief that one is inherently bad, defective, different, or unlovable. Toxic shame is not just a belief that one does bad things, it is a deeply held core belief that one is bad. Survival

Surrender allows recovering Nice Guys to see each life experience as a gift from the universe to stimulate growth, healing and learning. Instead of asking, Why is this happening to me? the recovering Nice Guy can respond to life's challenges by pondering, What do I need to learn from this situation?

Telling the truth is not a magic formula for having a smooth life. But living a life of integrity is actually easier than living one built around deceit and distortion.

In many ways, humans aren't much different from pets. People often behave the way they have been trained to behave. For example, if a person gives his dog a treat when he pisses on the carpet, the dog will keep pissing on the carpet. The same is true for humans. If the Nice Guy reinforces his partner's undesirable behaviors, she will keep behaving in undesirable ways.

IF I can hide my flaws and become what I think others want me to be •?THEN I will be loved, get my needs met, and have a problem-free life.

These aspects of masculinity include strength, discipline, courage, passion, persistence, and integrity.

One client, who hadn't had sex with his wife in 14 months, shared in a Nice Guy group that he was tired of listening to his wife complain about her work problems. That night, for the first time in 15 years of marriage, he told his wife that he was too tired to listen. Even though she was initially angry, later that night she asked him if he wanted to make love.

As long as a Nice Guy is willing to settle for bad sex, he limits his opportunities to experience good sex. I regularly tell Nice Guys, "You have to be willing to let go of what you've got to get what you want." Good sex can occur only when a recovering

As long as a Nice Guy is willing to settle for bad sex, he limits his opportunities to experience good sex. I regularly tell Nice Guys, "You have to be willing to let go of what you've got to get what you want." Good sex can occur only when a recovering Nice Guy decides to stop settling for bad sex!

As a result of this dependency, every child's greatest fear is abandonment. To children, abandonment means death. Second