Quotes from Jim Fay

Allow the consequences to do the teaching.

The state of our kids' room is a control battle we can win. But making an issue of it doesn't mean yelling at them. It means offering choices

We are giving our children emotion. And kids thrive on parental emotion; they lean back and enjoy the show. It's part of human nature.

Because parents are biologically programmed to protect their children, their automatic tendency is to try to rescue them or give them some wisdom that will solve the problem. A more effective approach involves listening with empathy and very few words.

If parents pull their children out of struggles too quickly, children get fearful of just about everything. With that said, be realistic. Sometimes rescue is the higher priority.

When our kids mess up, we are often overcome with anger and want to punish them. The better thing to do, though, is lock in our empathy for them and then let the consequences do the teaching.

kids will throw tantrums only as long as they work. Kids never seem to scream and pound the floor when they're alone in their room, but the show goes on when they have a captive audience.

For the consequences to have any benefit, we must commiserate with our kids, not yell at them. They have nobody to be angry with but themselves when we show sadness. Because of punishment, Brianne had her mom to blame.

Handling temper tantrums requires parents with soft voices who don't even try to reason with their misbehaving child.

To help our children gain responsibility we must offer them opportunities to be responsible, rather than order them to do what we think is responsible. "Rules

How much better to get wisdom than gold! To get understanding is to be chosen rather than silver. Proverbs 16:16

Children learn early in life that their parents can't get into their brains. We can't make them think what we think or believe what we believe. When we try, we invite their disobedience;