Quotes from Frank Portman

Maybe they notice me wincing whenever I hear them say it, but I don't know: there are all sorts of reasons I could be wincing. Life is a wince-a-thon.

Dance Dance Revolution was, however, no enticement whatsoever to one who had tasted the delights of the King of Sacramento's shadowed chamber.

He was probably a Sagittarius, like Rosalie herself, born with a quiver of arrows, and a license to be an asshole.

HIGH SCHOOL IS THE PENALTY FOR TRANSGRESSIONS YET TO BE SPECIFIED

I mean, everything beats me, even twos and threes.

The entire second-period sophomore girls' PE class thought my balls were uniquely and supremely beneath contempt. Great.

You start by allowing your own world to be corrupted by their warped values, and then you gradually start using their sadistic methods and eventually end up adopting bits of their sick ideology. And even then, when you have become just like them, they will eventually turn on you anyway. Normal people are savage beasts.

There's something weird and sexual about the way some people talk about God--have you noticed?

Monty Python: A documentary series on everyday life in Great Britain.

Normal: lacking in taste, compassion, understanding, kindness, and ordinary human decency.

Monty Python: A documentary series on everyday life in Great Britain.

Maybe they notice me wincing whenever I hear them say it, but I don't know: there are all sorts of reasons I could be wincing. Life is a wince-a-thon.

There's always a bit of suspense about the particular way in which a given school year will get off to a bad start.

D and D: a role-playing game played only by very cool guys.

I was starting to realize the extent of the problem here: everyone is always lying to each other, and even when they're trying to tell the truth, it can still be misleading or wrong. In fact, it almost always is wrong from at least one angle. I mean, the truth is really just a better class of lie.

Sam Hellerman is a genius!

One day they'll wake up and realize that we were right about everything all along.

It was more like an abortion than music, but he got a wildly enthusiastic response from the crowd. Well, we're all pro-choice out here in Hillmont, after all.

I felt bad, but I did it anyway, because I'm only human. I was ashamed of myself and depressed afterward, though, which is human, too, I guess. Being human is an excuse for just about everything, but it also kind of sucks in a way.

You can make something mean anything you want. And you can spend a great deal of time and effort choosing your words and allusions and quotations carefully and hardly anyone will even notice or get it anyway.

And as for you, Holden, old son: if you happen to meet my body coming through the rye, I'd really appreciate it if you'd just stand aside and get out of my fucking way.

1975 was a great year for rock and roll, and don't believe anyone who tells you different.

No one does antimaterialism better than multigazillionaire rock stars.

Life is a wince-a-thon.