Quotes from Bart King

Q. How does flirting work? A. The simplest and least embarrassing way to flirt is just to make eye contact with that special someone. Then hold the look for around two seconds. (That's an eternity in flirt time!) Going too much longer turns it into a staring contest, which is sort of weird and NOT flirting anymore. While you're making eye contact, smile. Then look away. That's flirting!

Your voice could peel scales off a donkey's butt.

Little Timmy was digging a big hole in his backyard when the next-door neighbor looked over. "Why are you digging that huge hole?" he asked. "My ferret died," Little Timmy replied, throwing another shovel full of dirt over his shoulder. "But why are you making the hole so big?" the neighbor asked. "Because your dog ate it," Little Timmy replied.

Friends are like bras: Close to your heart and there for your support!"     —Emily Glitter

Girls are impressed by boys who can cook.

The Statue of Liberty wears size 879 shoes!

A girl has shorter vocal cords than a boy, so it actually takes less effort for her to talk. As for boys' their vocal cords double in length during puberty. This can make it a lot of work for them to spit something out! Guys are four times more likely than girls to have a stuttering problem. So, because many boys aren't as good at talking as girls, they do less of it.

Always accept all compliments. Ignore any other remarks."     —Kay Oss

Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider, Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Crisscross, applesauce, I hate boys!

He rejected me! I am so hurt and mad. Can I destroy him?

In the 1500s, it was a crime to be caught kissing in Naples, Italy. The punishment? Death!

Porta-Potty Tip: Breathe through your mouth. AND DON'T LOOK DOWN.

Some people don't think that women in the military can kill if they get into a fight. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, 'You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms.'"     —Elayne Boosler The