Quotes from Tedd Tripp

Parents tend to focus on the externals of behavior rather than the internal overflow of the heart.

los niños, por lo general, no se rebelan contra la autoridad que es verdaderamente bondadosa y abnegada.

our goal is not to maintain control at any cost; it is rather to persuade. Influence and persuasion are always more important than discipline.

We tend to worry more about the "what" of behavior than the "why".

To do good to oppressors, however, to pray for those who mistreat you, to entrust yourself to the just Judge, requires a child to come face-to-face with the poverty of his own spirit and his need of the transforming power of the gospel.

When you fail to hold out God's standard, you rob your children of the mercy of the gospel.

Since the heart and behavior are so closely linked, whatever modifies behavior inevitably trains the heart.

Home should be the shelter where the teen is understood and loved, where he is encouraged and shown the paths of life.

Our kids are always serving something, either God or a substitute for God—an idol of the heart. 

If authority best describes the parent's relationship to the child, the best description of the activity of the parent to the child is shepherding.

Whether you are watching a video or playing a game, whether you are doing work or fielding an unwanted phone call, whether you are being successful or smarting from failure—in the ordinary context of daily living, you show the power and viability of Christian faith.

Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him" (Proverbs 22:15).

Ultimately, communication is a reflection of the heart. "For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks" (Luke 6:45).

It is easy for a parent to say, "I am right and I am angry, therefore my anger is righteous anger." It may be that we are just angry because we are not getting what we want.

Correction is not displaying your anger at their offenses; it is rather reminding them that their sinful behavior offends God.

Behavior is a manifestation of what is going on inside. What a person says or does mirrors the heart. "For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks" (Luke 6:45).

The gospel enables you and your children to face the worst in yourselves—your sin, your badness, and your weakness—and still find hope, because grace is powerful.

Fights and quarrels don't come from lack of skill in conflict resolution. They don't come from people who are irritating. They come from desires that battle within. My desires are occupying the place of command and control inside my heart. Behavior Begins with the Heart

A regular habit of talking together prepares the way for talking in strained situations. You will never have the hearts of your children if you talk with them only when something has gone wrong.

Point your children to God as the fountain of deepest pleasure. In his presence are eternal pleasures—the greatest beauty, the highest value, the deepest satisfaction, the longest lasting joy, the most satisfying delights, the most wonderful friendship—eternal pleasures are found in God.

What is important in correction is not venting your feelings, anger or hurt; it is, rather, understanding the nature of the struggle that your child is having. What is important is understanding the "why" of what has been done or said.

Clear directives and thorough reinforcement are essential. Never allow your children to disobey without dealing with them. When they disobey, they are moving out of the circle of God's blessing into a place of grave peril. If you understand the fear of the Lord, you will not allow your child to ignore God's law without intervening. Your intervention is turning him back into the circle of blessing.

Respectful teenagers are developed when they are 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5, not at 13, 14, 15, or 16.

Teach your children that ungodly behavior begins with ungodly attitudes of heart, but godly behavior begins with godly attitudes of heart. Below