Quotes from Geoff Rodkey

Yo, strong ups to Big Daddy Tapper for frontin' the bill on dem wingz.

if some cat brings in a tune that makes me want to stab myself in the ear with a pencil, I gotta be all, "Great job, kiddo! Keep at it!

Xander, have you ever googled "Mayflower" and "Billingtons"? Because I did. And it turns out one of your ancestors almost blew up the ship. And another one got hanged for murder after they landed in America. Ed. Note: 100% TRUE (you can google this)

I was being a friend of the earth. You know: recycling the coffee.

True dat. When I gots da Cronut itch? Mom-a-saurus pays our dog walker fiddy bones to get up crack-o'-dawn and represent on dat line to get one in my belly.

First, I was like, "I know it! It's dun-dun-DA-dun, dun, DA-DUN, dun DA-DUN." WYATT The rest of us were like, "Reese, dude: that's the Darth Vader song." But that got the Darth Vader song stuck in everybody's head. So whenever somebody tried to sing Beethoven's Fifth, it came out sounding like Darth Vader.

Don't worry—my phone is password-protected Ed. Note: Dad's password=7734

And then James yelled, "HOW MUCH DO YOU CHARGE FOR AN ASSASSINATION?" at him.

THE 'THE' IS IMPLIED!

I quoted both Miranda Fleet AND Gandhi.

You do realize you had absolutely nothing to do with winning those tickets, right, Reese?

Yeah sorry guys from cult offered me candy so I went with them. Driving to Queens in their van to play Lazer Tag.

Ed. Note: really, really, REALLY not smart to do this in bar full of giant Liverpool fans

Note: WAAAAAAY

I pretty much wanted to strangle her.

But the thing is, sometimes you have to stand up for your beliefs. And that's what I was doing. This election wasn't about me. It was about freedom. Ed. Note: Reese HAS NO CLUE what that even means (his campaign manager taught him to say it)

Xander hadn't talked to me since Sunday. Which was REALLY bumming me out. Like, usually when he says he'll never forgive me and I'm dead to him? He gets over it in like an hour. So this was pretty serious.

I was totally psyched. I heard if you sit in the front row at a Knicks game, the players will, like, actually sweat on you. That would be SO sweet. Ed. Note: NO IT WOULDN'T (eeeew)

He also has awesome hair.

He looks AWESOME!

I's all, "FIDDY K IN DA HIZZZZ-OUSE! I'M'A HAMMER DOWN ON DAT!" Dem free tix wuz BEAST, yo.

He has no goals in life. Unless you count being a professional soccer player, which is totally unrealistic.

be totally specific, it started in the Culvert Prep cafeteria on Monday, September 8th, at approximately 8:27am. That's when Reese—in front of basically

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