Quotes from Tara Bennett-Goleman

When we see our lives as only a small part of a greater web, our perspective changes dramatically.

Their rule of thumb for classifying a state of mind was simple but profound: it depended on whether the mind state led to inner peace or disturbed the mind.

We each have our unique ways of responding to life's challenges, and we need to respect our own needs, temperament, and timing.

With mindfulness, we can see their impersonal nature more clearly, not identifying with the thinker, letting thoughts dissolve like waves back into awareness.

a simple principle: how our habitual patterns take shape and are reinforced. And it holds the secret of what we can do to break free of destructive habits.

There is no fixed, solid, permanent self—just a series of changing patterns of experience.

If the amygdala recognizes an emotionally potent stimulus similar to something we reacted strongly to in the past, it unleashes a flood of emotion and a fitting action.

Each schema has its own emotional hallmark, a distinctive gut-level, wrenching feeling that takes us over when the schema has us in its grip.

situation that is even vaguely reminiscent of those that created an emotional habit can act as a trigger.

schema responses are overreactions, not appropriate responses to difficult situations.

Instead of being swept away and captured by a thought or feeling, mindfulness steadily observes those thoughts and feelings as they come and go.

we've sacrificed our potential in a bargain to preserve connection.

our emotional problems are seen as temporary and superficial. The emphasis is on what is right with us,

Buddhist psychology acknowledges our disturbing emotions but sees them as covering our essential goodness like clouds covering the sun.

Feelings are held, but not held on to.

Recognizing, for instance, "Oh, I'm having those-feelings again," or "Here come my schema thoughts," gives us the freedom to wake from the schema trance.

Strong emotions are messages from the unconscious.

Did the resulting interaction work out well, or did your distorted thoughts, intense feelings, or overreactions leave you feeling upset? This is an important distinction, a general signal to you that a schema, rather than a useful response, is at play.

A schema represents an outmoded holdover from earlier learning. In other words, remind yourself, "I'm having this reaction because of what I learned to do back then, not because of what's actually happening right now.

To some extent, raw emotions arise from a part of the brain without words.

Loss of control lies at the core of the vulnerability pattern. The distinctive emotional signature of vulnerability is an exaggerated fear that some catastrophe is about to strike.

an example of how relationships later in life can be reparative for the emotional wounds of a schema like abandonment

one focus for healing is to challenge your fears and, to the extent that they have held you back, gain more freedom in your activities.

Mindfulness can help you recognize your fearful thoughts so that you can see that they're simply thoughts, not reality.