Quotes from Tim Waggoner

intend to stop whoever and whatever is attempting to transport Nekropolis to Earth," Maggie said. She glanced at Bartelmeu. "And according to our resident psychic saint, arming you three is our best shot at doing so." Bartelmeu smiled. "And I predict a solid fifty-fifty chance of success! You can't ask for better odds than that!" He frowned. "Well, I suppose you could, but you're not going to get them.

needs locks when you have a pair of beefcake warlocks to guard your secret chamber of evil?

I don't know what you mean." "Come now, Matthew, it's a simple enough question. How do you feel about being a zombie?

Henry escorted us deeper into the Foundry and before long we began encountering other employees. Some were merely odd – like the wild-haired, wild-eyed man in a white lab coat who kept telling a pop-eyed hunchback in a black cloak that his name was supposed to be pronounced "Fronk-en-steen," along with the handsome young man with curly black hair wearing a corset, fishnet stockings, 70s glam-rock boots, and far too much make-up.

Big John said. "He stabbed his sister in the tits in this house. Right upstairs.

I used to be a summer camp counselor when I was younger.

Let's get out of here before–" A gigantic reptilian head rose up before us, fiery green water trickling down its black-scaled hide.

sometimes victory doesn't go to the strongest or swiftest. Sometimes it goes to a desperate dead man with deep pockets.

Galm's tone was reserved, each of his words precisely enunciated, almost as if it required extra concentration for him to speak. He was thousands of years old, and I wondered if he was so ancient and powerful that he sometimes had difficulty remembering simple things, like how to use language.

The House sat between a casino called, ominously enough, Bet Your Life, and a soul-modification parlor (slogan: When you've done everything to your body that you possibly can) called Spiritus Mutatio.

I figured we'd just do what we always do: stick our noses in where they don't belong and see what happens.

He was so obsessed with Michael and all things Halloween that he'd gotten a tattoo of a Thorn rune on his left arm,

whenever a soldier is laughing instead of blasting you with his futuristic superweapon, that's a good thing.

I can't believe you'd even make such a suggestion!" Devona's eyes flashed dangerously. Magilla laughed. "What part of 'I'm a demon' don't you understand?

It's the distortion, the violation of what we think of as the rules of reality—of society, of nature, of humanity, of physics, of space and time—that engenders horror.

As much as I hated my mockery of a life, it was the only mockery I had, and I didn't particularly want to lose it. There

From the face Yberio made, you'd have thought he was having trouble swallowing a crap-covered turdball rolled in shit sprinkles.

I hate it when Bogdan gets sincere. It means I have to work twice as hard to dislike him.

But there's a lot to be said for a good war, you know. Like a forest fire, it can be a cleansing force, burning away old, tired wood and making room for invigorating new growth." She flashed a smile. "Besides, it's fun!

I wasn't an object. I was Matthew Fucking Richter

Les Escargot, a gourmet restaurant run by giant snails. The food's supposed to be great, but you wouldn't believe how slow the service is.

She was one hundred percent homo sapiens and two hundred percent bugfuck crazy.