Quotes from Ricky Gervais

I think comedies should be short. I don't want to be self-indulgent; I don't want a two-hour comedy.

That's the buzz for me, the creative process. An idea is never as good as when it's in your head. And then it's just how little you ruin it.

The only thing that really depresses me is animal cruelty.

You should make something. You should bring something into the world that wasn't in the world before. It doesn't matter what it is. It doesn't matter if it's a table or a film or gardening-everyone should create. You should do something, then sit back and say, 'I did that.'

A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they're not getting any presents from Santa.

Suggesting I hate people with religion because I hate religion is like suggesting I hate people with cancer because I hate cancer.

We shouldn't even need the word 'atheism'. If people didn't invent ridiculous imaginary gods, rational people wouldn't have to deny them.

It's a strange myth that atheists have nothing to live for. It's the opposite. We have nothing to die for. We have everything to live for.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but if you believe in god, you're wrong.

Dear Religion, This week I safely dropped a man from space while you shot a child in the head for wanting to go to school. Yours, Science.

I lift weights. Then I put them down again.

I don't like it when I see a racist comedian go up and say, 'What are we gonna do about all these immigrants?' and they get a round the applause. I think, 'Well that's not a joke. That's just your biased opinion.'

I was David Bowie-thin up to about 28, and then I discovered food.

If I've only got a career if I bring David Brent back, you can have it.

I'd much rather eat exactly what I want, and then burn it off, than diet.

Dear intelligent people of the world, don't get shampoo in your eyes. It really stings. There. Done. Now fucking stop torturing animals.

There's no difference between fame and infamy now. There's a new school of professional famous people that don't do anything. They don't create anything.

Just because you're offended, doesn't mean you're right.

You won't burn in hell. But be nice anyway.

I see Atheists are fighting and killing each other again, over who doesn't believe in any God the most. Oh, no..wait.. that never happens.

The best advice I've ever received is, 'No one else knows what they're doing either.

It's a strange myth that atheists have nothing to live for. It's the opposite. We have nothing to die for. We have everything to live for.

A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they're not getting any presents from Santa.

Remember, when you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It is only painful for others. The same applies when you are stupid.