Quotes from Kevin Hart

Some sarcasm is best told simply. Some humor is best told big and some is best told small.

My mom was very strict. She didn't let me watch anything rated R or anything with cussing.

I think if someone gets kicked in the face it is their fault - they watched the foot come towards their face.

Comedy Central was a great network, but 'Chappelle's Show' took it to a completely different level. Other shows got bigger because so many viewers were watching the 'Chappelle' reruns. For BET, the 'Real Husbands of Hollywood' has that same potential.

Dialogue means debates and everyone's point of view.

I don't take pictures when I'm with my kids, for the sake of my kids. It's important when you're as busy as I am that you give your kids your time when you're with them, and nothing compromises that. I've been lucky enough to have fans that understand that.

I was the guy on the swim team entertaining the bus on the way to the meets.

Expect me to continue what I've been doing, which is trying to take over the world.

I had a great time being a salesman because of the pitches that I gave when I was selling shoes. However, I don't think I'm as well versed in shoes as I am in comedy. Being a salesman was all about being a people person, and I enjoy being around people. I also love talking to people - which is why I think I did so well.

It's a well-known fact that tall people are evil.

I was probably tall as a child, but I just stopped growing.

I'm a whopping 5 foot 4 inches tall. I'm not going to get any taller.

I DON'T have EX's! I have Y's. Like 'Y the hell did I date you?!' -Kevin Hart

People may hate you for being different and not living by society's standards but deep down, they wish they had the courage to do the same.

Your life today is the sum total of your choices. So if you're not happy with it, look back at your choices and start making different ones. Even if you are struck by lighting and injured, you made choices that led you to that spot at a particular time - and you get to choose how you feel about it afterward.

i gotta stop saying how stupid could you be? I'm beginning to feel like people are taking as a challenge

I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like ! It was born 15 minutes ago it looks like a potato.

females will argue with you for 30 minutes then be like , I aint even gonna argue with you!

If you're too weak to handle failure and disappointment, then you're too weak to handle success, which will only end up damaging your life and happiness.

when you truly love someone, you will be there every second they need you to! no matter what they are doing or what they want to be doing

Laughter heals all wounds, and that's one thing that everybody shares. No matter what you're going through, it makes you forget about your problems. I think the world should keep laughing.

I'm chasing after that Holy Shit effect. If this sounds arrogant, that's because it is. If you don't believe in your own greatness, no one else will. You're limited only by your doubts, your fears, and your desire to fit in rather than stand out. And there's room in this world for all of us to stand out.

There's a giant gap between what you imagine yourself doing and what you're capable of doing and it hurts pretty bad when you fall into that gap

It's spoken with a shoulder shrug, a side-to-side of the head, and roll of the eyes. It means: I can't even fathom your reality, but I've decided to just accept it and move on.