Quotes from Chuck Palahniuk

In books, you can just wallow in dialogue, and you can just wallow in written words. In screenplays, every line has to serve the purpose of the line that's implied before it and the line that's implied after it. Maybe five lines have to do the work of fifty lines.

The best thing about getting a flu shot is that you never again need to wash your hands. That's how I see it.

At school I was lazy. But I started working when I was 15, washing dishes at a local truck stop restaurant. I was really, really bored with school, and I wanted to get a job as fast as I could. School was just so easy. There was just no challenge to it.

Arguing that God doesn't exist would be like people in the 10th century arguing that germs and microbes didn't exist because they couldn't see them.

I see the strongest and the smartest men who have ever lived... and these men are pumping gas and waiting tables.

Cassie Wright knows, the moment you make yourself available to any man, he starts to take you for granted

I'm fascinated by the whole issue of arousal addiction, which seems to be mostly a problem for young men.

Sorry, mom. Sorry, God.

Not everything is about money. You didn't even say, hello. You are not your sad little wallet.

Parenthood is the opiate of the masses.

Without access to true chaos, we'll never have true peace. Unless everything can get worse, it won't get any better.

The world of American politics is more contentious than it has ever been in my lifetime.

Yes, terrible things happen, but sometimes those terrible things - they save you.

Your past is just a story. And once you realize this it has no power over you.

Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet.

You ever wonder when God's coming back with a lot of barbecue sauce?

Yeah. Well. Whatever. You can't teach God anything.

Maybe it's our sins that give God consolation when he finally has to give us cancer.

Control the things you can control. As for the rest - God bless it all.

You ever wonder if Adam and Eve were just the puppies God dumped because they wouldn't house-train?

And if you believe that we really have free will, then you know that God can't really control us. And since God can't control us, all God does is watch and change channels when He gets bored.

I believe in something. But I don't believe that anything can hold a grudge for long enough to condemn its creation to eternal punishment. Nobody can hold a grudge that long, even God.

I'm a toxic waste byproduct of God's creation.

What you have to understand, is your father was your model for God.