Quotes from Chuck Palahniuk

I figure if Eve could get us into this mess, I could get us out. After all, God really likes to see a go-getter.

I am the all-singing, all-dancing crap of this world.... I am the toxic waste by-product of God's creation.

The trick to forgetting the big picture is to look at everything close-up. The shortcut to closing a door is to bury yourself in the details. This is how we must look to God. As if everything's fine.

What you have to consider is the possibility that God doesn't like you. Could be, God hates us. This is not the worst thing that could happen.

All human beings search for either reasons to be good, or excuses to be bad.

So here I am. This is as good as it gets. Take it or leave it.

The bad news is we don't have any control. The good news is we can't make any mistakes.

That's how a good story works. It changes how you feel. It brings you to a greater appreciation, a greater joy, of your own existence.

Of all the priceless objects left behind, this is what we rescue. These artifacts. Memory cues. Useless souvenirs. Nothing you could auction. The scars left from happiness.

Find joy in everything you choose to do. Every job, relationship, home… it's your responsibility to love it, or change it.

Like the he-man movie stars who turn out to be queer . . . or the silent-film actors whose voices sound terrible recorded--the audience only wants a limited amount of honesty. [ellipses original]

I let go. Lost in oblivion. Dark and silent and complete. I found freedom. Losing all hope was freedom.

If you start in the pit of despair with these profane, awful things, even a glimmer of hope or awareness is going to occur that's much brighter coming from this dark, awful beginning.

All you can do is hope for a pattern to emerge, and sometimes it never does. Still, with a plan, you only get the best you can imagine. I'd always hoped for something better than that.

Picture anybody growing up so stupid he didn't know that hope is just another phase you'll grow out of.

If You Don't Claim Your Humanity, You Will Become A Statistic.

Without animals, there would be no humanity. In a world of just people, people will mean nothing . . .

Most of the laugh tracks on television were recorded in the early 1950's. These days, most of the people you hear laughing are dead.

Someone bent on suicide won't have much sense of humor left.

In a world where billions believe their deity conceived a mortal child with a virgin human, it's stunning how little imagination most people display.

What is the real purpose behind the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus? They seem like greater steps toward faith and imagination, each with a payoff. Like cognitive training exercises.

Until you find something to fight for, you settle for something to fight against.

Me with nothing left to lose, plotting my big revenge in the spotlight. Give me violent revenge fantasies as a coping mechanism.

Most novels, I find, are three times longer than they need to be. Very little happens, and I don't want to waste my time with them.