Quotes from Chuck Palahniuk

If you're not drunk and half naked by this point, you're not paying attention.

Just for the record, being smeared with shit and naked in the wilderness, spattered with pink vomit, this does not necessarily make you a real artist.

What we call chaos is just patterns we haven't recognized. What we call random is just patterns we cant decipher. What we can't understand we call nonsense. What we can't read we call gibberish. There is no free will. There are no variables. There is only the inevitable.

If emotion can create a physical action, then duplicating the physical action can re-create the emotion.

Every time we burn a gallon of gas or an acre of rain forest, aren't we killing the future to preserve the present?

According to Plato, we don't learn anything. Our soul has lived so many lives that we know everything. Teachers and education can only remind us of what we already know.

The air will always be to filled with something. Your body too sore or tired. Your father too drunk. Your wife too cold. You will always have some excuse not to live your life.

In the world I see you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rock feller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Towers. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying stripes of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned superhighways.

That's the best revenge of all: happiness. Nothing drives people crazier than seeing someone have a good fucking life.

Also consider that someday, when you're dead and rotted, kids with their baby teeth will sit in their time-geography class and laugh about how stupid you were.

some soap opera, you know, real people pretending to be fake people with made-up problems being watched by real people to forget their real problems.

You're not getting this back you know. Consider it an asshole tax.

Sticks and stones may break your bones but words can hurt like hell.

We come from a generation of people who need their TV or stereo playing all the time. These people so scared of silence. These soundaholics, these quietophobics.

And it's funny how when somebody saves you, the first thing you want to do is save other people. All other people. Everybody. The kid never knew the man's name. But he never forgot that smile. Hero isn't the first word, but it's the first word that comes to mind.

As young people we want something to slow us down and keep us trapped in one place long enough to look below the surface of the world. That disaster is a car crash or a war. To make us sit still. It can be getting cancer or getting pregnant. The important part is how it seems to catch us by surprise. That disaster stops us from living the life we'd planned as children - a life of constant dashing around.

No, I say, it's fine. Put a gun to my head and paint the wall with my brains. Just great, I say. Really.

Nothing is static. Everything is evolving. Everything is falling apart.

Nothing shows you the straight line from here to death like a list.

You met me at a very strange time in my life.

Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet.

The problem with educating stupid people was that they didn't know they were stupid. The same went for curing crazy people.

Help me give up my addiction to Hope.

So maybe I'll spend some years in prison, but you'll have a big head start on me in hell!