Quotes from Chuck Palahniuk

Tyler's words coming out of my mouth. I used to be such a nice person.

Just for the record, knowing when people are only pretending to like you isn't such a great skill to have.

What you don't understand, you can make mean anything.

Brandy is so attractive you could chop her head off and put it on blue velvet in the window at Tiffany's and somebody would buy it for a million dollars.

We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war. Our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.

Artificial over stimulations seemed like the perfect way to stifle a generation of young people who wanted more and more from a world where less and less was available.

The shortest distance between two points is a time line, a schedule, a map of your time, the itinerary for the rest of your life. Nothing shows you the straight line from here to death like a list.

Right now, me getting killed would be redundant. ... You could stab a knife right through my heart and you'd be too late. ... Right now, getting killed would be a breath of spring.

You realize that there's no point in doing anything if nobody's watching.

Sex reincarnated that good, pure girl, but as something else.

The religious school she went to, growing up, Ms. Wright said how all the girls had to wear a scarf tied to cover their ears at all times. Based on the biblical idea that the Virgin Mary became pregnant when the Holy Spirit whispered in her ear. The idea that ears were vaginas. That, hearing just one wrong idea, you lost your innocence. One detail too many and you'd be ruined. Overdosed on information.

According to Babette, 98.3 percent of lawyers end up in Hell. That's in contrast to the 23 percent of farmers who are eternally damned. Some 45 percent of retail business owners are Hellbound, and 85 percent of computer software writers. Perhaps a trace number of politicians ascend to Heaven, but statistically speaking, 100 percent of them are cast into the fiery pit. As are essentially 100 percent of journalists and redheads.

they should let some people into the library by prescription only

Quit try­ing to fix your life. Deal with your one big is­sue.

You wake up, and you're nowhere. One minute was enough, Tyler said, a person had to work hard for it, but a minute of perfection was worth the effort. A moment was the most you could ever expect from perfection. You wake up, and that's enough.

Just because it's anal intercourse doesn't mean it's not love.

He was the kind of boy any young girl should date while she's still able to recover.

Anymore, no one's mind is their own. You can't concentrate. You can't think. There's always some noise worming in. Singers shouting. Dead people laughing. Actors crying. All those little doses of emotion.

You do the job you're trained to do. Pull a lever. Push a button. You don't understand any of it, and then you just die.

Because the only difference between a suicide and a martyrdom really is the amount of press coverage.

I want out of the labels. I don't want my whole life crammed into a single word.

Rant goes, Really, truly with her whole entire heart, does Echo hate somebody? I go, doesn't Rant mean love? And Rant shrugs and says, Ain't it the same thing?

Grace says, We all die. She says, The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will.

Either a species learns to control its own population, or something like disease, famine, war, will take care of the issue.