Quotes from Chuck Palahniuk

Seek midday nourishment. Visit memorial acclaimed war hero Colonel Sanders.

Idiot people like Angel Delaporte who look for a supernatural reason for ordinary events, those people drive Misty nuts.

They placed their bets with such self righteous bravado, but I'm the one who lost.

You can tell people the truth, but they'll never believe until the event. Until it's too late. In the meantime, the truth will just piss them off and get you in a lot of trouble

Screw the idea of inventing monsters. Here, we just had to look around. Pay attention.

After fight club you're so relaxed, you just cannot care.

Each wedding picture was less of a memento than a scar. Proof of some horror movie scenario Katherine Kenton has survived.

The worst job in the whole world must be recycling toilet paper.

You can't kiss someone who has no lips. Oh love me, love me, love me, love me, love me, love me, love me, love me. I'll be anybody you want me to be.

It sounds trite, but only because words make everything true sound trite. Because words always screw up whatever you're trying to say.

At first, the new owner pretends he never looked at the living room floor.

A happy past cripples people. They cling to it with nowhere better to go. Nothing to improve upon.

My goldfish is swimming around all excited inside the fishbowl on the fridge so I reach up and drop a Valium in its water.

The truth is nobody here is as stupid or evil as I let on. Except me.

The most boring thing in the entire world, Brandy says, is nudity. The second most boring thing, she says, is honesty.

She says that the problem with passive people is that they force you to take action. After that, they hate you for it. They never forgive you.

Think of spoiled cat food and ulcerated cankers and expired donor organs. That's how beautiful she looks.

Not that I'm crazy or anything, I just want some proof that death isn't the end. Even if crazed zombies grabbed me in some dark hall one night, even if they tore me apart, at least that wouldn't be the absolute end. There would be some comfort in that.

Valley of the Dogs. Where even if they don't kill you, if someone loves you enough to take you home, they still castrate you.

Why do I do anything? I'm educated enough to talk myself out of any plan. To deconstruct any fantasy. Explain away any goal. I'm so smart I can negate any dream.

Just some­thing to need you home at night. Some­thing to keep you from liv­ing alone.

Just for the record, how I feel right now is very terrific.

It took my whole life to buy this stuff.

Give me violent revenge fantasies as a copying mechanism. Flash. Just give me my first oportunity. Flash.