Quotes from Chuck Palahniuk

Real smart begins when you quit quoting other people.

Pretty much nobody is getting their emotional needs met.

My gold­fish and me, both of us are just here swim­ming in one place.

It only takes one mistake,' the Dan Banyan guy says, 'and nothing else you ever do will matter.' With his empty hand, he takes one of my hands. His fingers feel hot, fever-hot, and pounding with his heartbeats. He turns my hand palm-up saying, 'No matter how hard you work or how smart you become, you'll always be known for that one poor choice.' He sets the blue pill on my palm, saying, 'Do that one wrong thing- and you'll be dead for the rest of your life.

I love and adore all of my family, except when I'm with them.

El futuro que tendrás mañana no es el mismo futuro que tenías ayer.

Then all you can do is get lost in the tiny de­tails of ev­ery day do­ing the same tasks over and over.

She named me Daisy St. Patience and never wanted to know what name I walked in the door with.

Buster was Rant was Buddy. Chester was Chet was Dad. Irene was Mom was Reen. How folks lay claim to their loved ones is they give you a name of their own. They figure to label you as their property.

According lecture, entire effort United States to incite desire, inflict want, inspire demand.

Here in the bathroom with me are razor blades. Here is iodine to drink. Here are sleeping pills to swallow. You have a choice. Live or die. Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. To be or not to be. Every time you don't throw yourself down the stairs, that's a choice. Every time you don't crash your car, you reenlist.

Get out of here, and do your little life, but remember I'm watching you, Raymond Hessel, and I'd rather kill you than see you working a shit job for just enough money to buy cheese and watch television.

On a large enough time line, the survival rate for everyone will drop to zero.

Despite my lifetime of declining rich desserts, my evenings spent jogging, regardless of all my careful moderation and self-discipline—I'm trapped, wadded inside a shell of steel and aluminum. My body, violated in countless places by fragments of broken glass. My low-cholesterol blood rushes to abandon me in hot, leaping spurts. Despite all my care, the heart-attack victim and I will both be just as dead.

WHat I learned is, it's never too late to save anybody. And it's always too late. And what are the chances you'll make any difference?

The first group I went to, there were introductions: this is Alice, this is Brenda, this is Dover. Everyone smiles with that invisible gun to their head.

You gain power by pretending to be weak. By contrast, you make people feel so strong. You save people by letting them save you.

I stepped into the back of a cab and simply told the driver, Follow the blue Christmas tree...

Every job too miserable most times, is nothing compared to just waiting.

Your whole life, she says, you're searching for disaster—you're auditioning disasters—so you'll be well rehearsed when the ultimate disaster finally arrives.

In the world I see - you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Tower. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying strips of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned superhighway.

Where would Jesus be if no one ever wrote the gospels?

The problem is, if you never weep in public... well, the public assumes you never weep.

All these people who say they want a life free from sexual compulsion, I mean forget it. I mean, what could ever be better than sex? For sure, even the worst blow job is better than, say, sniffing the best rose . . . watching the greatest sunset. Hearing children laugh. I think that I shall never see a poem as lovely as a hot-gushing, butt-cramping, gut-hosing orgasm. Painting a picture, composing an opera, that's just something you do until you find the next willing piece of ass.