Quotes from Chuck Palahniuk

To all of you alive people walking around, taking your multivitamins and busy being Lutheran or getting colonoscopies, you need to invest in a good-quality, long-lasting wristwatch with day and date functions. Don't count on getting any cell phone reception in Hell, and don't think for a second you'll have the forethought to die with your charger cord in hand or even find yourself locked inside a rusted jail cell with a compatible electrical outlet.

Quiero tener un aborto tuyo.

El oxígeno te coloca.

If you asked my dad about selecting any kind of professional career, he'd tell you, "Don't make a date with a heart attack." Meaning: You've got to pace yourself and not forget to slow down. No job is forever. So relax and have some fun.

Encontré la libertad. Perder toda esperanza era la libertad

In all seriousness, Archer claims that if you, as a living, alive person, hear the song "You're the One That I Want" from the musical Grease three times in a single day—seemingly by accident, whether in an elevator, on a radio, a telephone hold button, or wherever—it indicates that you'll surely die before sunset. In contrast, the phantom odor of scorched toast merely means that a deceased loved one continues to watch over you and protect you from harm.

The same as if a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, you realize, if no one had been there to witness the agony of Christ, would we be saved?

We don't live in the real world anymore. We live in a world of symbols.

La autoperfección es simple masturbación, sólo la autodestrucción conlleva evolución

Maybe it's better just living the way you figure life is when you're a kid. Before you get too smart.

You realize that people take drugs because it's the only real personal adventure left to them in their time-constrained, law-and-order, property-lined world.

El condón es el zapatito de cristal de nuestra generación. Reservas uno cuando conoces a un extraño, bailas toda la noche... y luego lo tiras.

Me has conocido en un momento extraño de mi vida

Ve eÄŸer Ä°sa uyku haplar? yutup, bir banyonun zemininde tek ba??na ölseydi, cennete gider miydi?

I'm not stupid, but I'm getting there.

She reflected on her time in Paris and thought how it seemed as if she'd spent half her life drinking wine in bed and covered with contusions. This, it occurred to her, was how it must feel to be Melanie Griffith.

The cancer I don't have is everywhere, now.

Use attribution to control the delivery of dialogue, creating the sort of dramatic pause an actor would insert. Otherwise, the reader will race through a line without realizing how it ought to be weighted.

Only in death are we no longer part of project mayhem

Oxygen gets you high. In a catastrophic emergency, you're taking giant panicked breaths. Suddenly you become euphoric, docile. You accept your fate. It's all right here. Emergency water landing - 600 miles an hour. Blank faces, calm as Hindu cows

Street gangs were really young men raised without fathers, just trying to help one another become men.

Jump back twenty years to the white house where I grew up with my father shooting super-8 movies of my brother and me running around the yard. Jump to present time with my folks sitting on lawn chairs at night, and watching these same super-8 movies projected on the white side of the same white house, twenty years later.

All her life, she never saw a dead person. There was no real sense of life because she had nothing to contrast it with.

Maybe God left it up to people to develop the ability to bring back Christ into their lives. Maybe God wanted us to invent our own savior when we were ready. When we need it most. Denny says maybe it's up to us to create our own messiah. To save ourselves.